X Factor reviewed: 12 thoughts

1. We couldn’t help wondering: was Michael Bublé looking at Lucie and also thinking she looked like his ex-fiancé Emily Blunt?

2. Rachel suddenly turned into a gabbling Stacey 2.0 after her performance (taking the 'you must have a personality' thing a bit too far... But she is only 18, poor lamb). Also – Rachel wins the award for Most Improved hairdo.

3. We didn’t vote for him either, but even we could see Miss Frank were totally outclassed by Danyl. Has he been hit by the Curse of the Bookie’s Favourite (see: Gareth Gates)? ie: no one votes because they think he’s a dead cert? Or is it because Louis branded him a backstage ‘bully’? 

4. Could Cheryl’s dresses get any shorter? (Sunday night’s was just the top-half of a mermaid costume, non?) And what a cop-out, taking Danyl and Miss Frank to deadlock and the public vote (we think she’s worried about maintaining her status as the nation’s sweetheart). Make a decision, woman!

5. Speaking of Miss Frank – we haven’t seen pinstripe suits like that since Spice World (seriously, when is business wear modified as a corset ever, ever, ever a good idea?)

6. We’d forgotten how much we fancy Nicky from Westlife.

7. Some of our favourite Cowellisms of the series so far: 'doing a backflip during a Frank Sinatra song is like eating a sandwich while going for a swim' / 'you’ve got about as much Latin spirit as a dolphin.' 

8. Anyone else finding it super-irritating how patronising Cheryl is with ‘me little brother’ Joe?

9. We DEMAND that Stacey sings When You Wish Upon A Star in her Disney princess dress before turning on the Christmas Lights on Oxford Street.

10. Is it just us or is Dannii looking younger by the week? Good show, Minogue.

11. Afro-gate: Jamie Afro SO didn't sing a big band song – and Cowell would have gone bonkers if any other contestant had cheated like that. But we loved Simon’s brilliantly deflective put down, accusing Louis of being 'like some jobsworth that works in the council'. Genius.

12. Louis is now just left with John and Edward. Guffaw. Fess up – which of you voted for them? And WHY???