Lady Gaga attends VMAs dressed as a boy answering to the name of Jo Calderone!

30 August 2011

Last year Lady Gaga she wore a frock made out of meat, then went to the Grammys concealed inside a Hussein Chalayan-designed EGG, and most recently she’s been mincing around all over town with (relatively) minimal makeup and gold Medusa heads all over her as an homage to her (current) fashion muse, the one and only Donatella Versace.

So, as this year's MTV Video Music Awards approached, we naturally found ourselves wondering what hare-brained confection she could possibly come up with – a dress made of cheese? Vegetables? Would Gaga drive up in a car that then turns into a dress in the style of Transformers? NO. What did she do? She came as her drag king alter ego, Jo Calderone. Oh, yes! First he rocked up mumbling and effin’ and jeffin’ about how Gaga is his girlfriend but had thrown a strop;

‘She left me!’ he screamed. ‘She’s crazy! She gets out of bed, puts on the heels, she goes into the bathroom, I hear the water go on, she comes out dripping wet and she’s still got the heels on. And what’s with the hair? At first it was sexy but now I’m confused.’

Confused? We know exactly how you feel, mate. For her/his encore he/she (this isn't getting confusing AT ALL!) attempted to recreate the infamous Madonna/Britney Spears snog moment of a few years back. Britney, however, wasn’t in the mood for tonsil tennis and tactfully brushed off the advances. Aah. Androgynous boyish fashion is THE THING at the moment, as we know, but either we missed the bit where we were supposed to wear an Elvis wig and a five o clock shadow and come up with a whole name and new personality OR we can just repeat to ourselves that there’s no one quite like Gaga.

In other VMA news, Russell Brand led the tributes to recently departed singer, Amy Winehouse, saying; ‘She was a genius.’ Brand continued, ‘The first time I heard her sing, I thought, “What is this incredible voice ... from the guts of humanity?”’

Jazz legend Tony Bennett introduced footage he recorded with Winehouse – looking happy and sounding strong – last March for his Duets 2 album, saying, ‘Either you got it or you haven't got it, and Amy had the gift. She sang beautiful.’

Amy Winehouse’s hit ‘Valerie’ was then performed by Bruno Mars and turned into a giant, emotional singalong. With Adele and many other famous audience members joining in, it was described by onlookers as one of the best VMA performances ever.

- Naomi Attwood


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