What ON EARTH are Karl and Carine on about NOW?

22 August 2011

Photography by Karl Lagerfeld for Interview Magazine

One of the reasons we LOVE fashion, and chose writing about it to earn our living, if of course, the absolute self-parodic riDONKulousness of it all sometimes, with quotes in fashion magazines made in all seriousness, making scenes from Zoolander seem like a subtle, understated documentary.

What’s that? A knock at the door? COME IN Carine Roitfeld and Karl Lagerfeld, having what could be described as a ‘pretentious-off’ with each other for the benefit of Interview Magazine. Ooh la la. It’s like a giant sandwich, nay BAGUETTE of self-indulgent wiffle waffle. Vraiment, it is.

First off, let’s talk about NAKEDNESS:

LAGERFELD: There's a big difference between photographing naked boys and naked girls.
ROITFELD: I was too shy, at first, to come close to these naked guys. I would stand a little ways away from them. With girls it's much easier.
LAGERFELD: I think it's easier because naked men are more awkward.
ROITFELD: Yes, and then there is always a bit of seduction to it when one person is clothed and the other is naked, which can be a little weird. Everybody should be naked. In that case, it would be easier, wouldn't it? Let's do a huge naked photo shoot!
ROITFELD: It's very you and very me, isn't it, Karl? It would be perfect.

And, pull your jaw back onto your face, coz, wait – there’s EVEN MORE! (May we recommend you read this bit aloud to yourself in your best French accent? Mais oui, eet eez even stranger like zat!)

ROITFELD: People might think I'm very hard, what with my black makeup, my hair over my eyes, etc. My innocence didn't always help me, but it did preserve something in me that maybe others don't have anymore. I'm inside my bubble, you could say, and thankfully so, because I don't think daily life is always great. It protects me. I don't know if it's my sign, but Virgos are very faithful. I'm a faithful friend. I'm a faithful lover —
LAGERFELD: I can tell you are, indeed, being a Virgo myself.
ROITFELD: We're a faithful lot. Faithful in many ways.
LAGERFELD: Some people don't deserve our faithfulness.
ROITFELD: Some don't, but once we learn that, I can tell you that we also have a very good memory. I have a memory like an elephant. I don't forget anything.

LAGERFELD: Me neither.
ROITFELD: And revenge! I forget nothing and then, one day, there will be revenge. Innocence isn't exactly everywhere. But I will say innocence also takes you far in photography. I don't have prejudices. I'm against taboos. But of course there are some things I'll never touch — because as a mom, there are things one doesn't want their children to be around. I think it's very important what young people see in pictures or on TV or in magazines. Drugs, violence, anorexia ... All of the things that I absolutely do not reference in my photos.
LAGERFELD: You are the price of virtue without merit since it is your nature.
ROITFELD: The article is going to be called "Santa Carina!"

Oh, now we get it. They’re having a laugh at themselves . It’s all in character. How hilarious! Ha ha ha!

They are, aren’t they?


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