WOAH! Keeping up with the Krazy Kardashian wedding

18 August 2011

In the wake of Royal Wedding mania, it seems everyone’s getting married (no, this isn’t a hint for our boyfriends, we really mean it). Let’s recap: Lily Allen’s vintage-esque ceremony was followed by Kate Moss’s Glasto-fabulous affair. Then there was an Armani-fest for the Monaco wedding and, of course, Abbey Clancey married Peter Crouch in that amazing Giles gown. Next, Zara Phillips walked up the aisle amid a nude courts extravaganza, Rachel Weisz got wed in a top-secret ceremony and, most recently, Grazia Daily was admiring Katie Shillingford’s Gareth Pugh bridal dress.

So you see, this season’s must-have is a big ol’ sparkler a-top a glittering wedding band, which is why it came as no surprise when Kim Kardashian rushed to partake in the trend – and boy, is she going for it. Forget Big Fat Gypsy-style dresses covered in plumes of pink tulle, or K-Middy’s horse-drawn carriage, because Kim’s eye-watering budget of $10 million ensures hers will be the ceremony to top ALL ceremonies. And honestly, if the two glittery ponies for the engagement party are anything to go by (uh-huh), it’s gonna be a doddle for Ms Kar-Fash.

Brilliantly, there’s not long to wait to ooh and ahh over Kim’s extravaganza, which takes place in just two days. The bachelorette party has already gone down in Las Vegas (where else?) and rumours about the bridal gown have long whetted our fashion palette – it’s set to be a jaw-dropping Vera Wang design with a $500,000 price tag, dontcha know. Plus, if the wedding invitations are anything to go by, we know there’s a strict monochrome colour scheme for the ceremony. Guests, including Jennifer Lopez and Cameron Diaz, have been instructed to ‘please wear black or white’, presumably to avoid any leopard print thong flashes or fluffy yellow hat fiascos *cough* Liz Hurley and Princess Anne.

And then there’s The Ring. Kim’s Lorraine Schwartz stunner is so ridiculously gigantic, it puts the Taylor-Burton diamond to shame. Granted, it cost her basketballing fiancé Kris Humpries a whooping $2million (eep) so although it may not be to err, everyone’s taste, that’s not gonna stop Kim from blinding us with her bling. Par exemple, earlier this week, the glossy bride-to-be was spotted at the Do Something Awards in Hollywood wearing a ruched Antonio Berardi floor-sweeper and just in case anyone had missed her mega-rock, she accessorised it with a ridiculously flashy matching clutch. Blinging heck, would you look at the SIZE of that thing?! We can only imagine how Kim’s wedding band is going to match up…
So remember to check back here on Monday for all the deets post-Kardashian wedding. And don’t fret if you miss Kourtney having a tiz-woz about her bridesmaid dress or the mother of the bride shedding a tear onto her newly-facelifted cheeks, because it’ll all be shown on their telly show, Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Naturally.
- Jessica Vince


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