A Professional Hat Expert analyses the Royal Wedding Guests!

03 August 2011

Americans, huh? What a strange relationship they have with our dear Royal family. It’s like us with reality TV. We don’t really approve of it, we want to mock the protagonists, yet we seem incapable of looking away. Now, New York Magazine has drafted in a ‘professional hat expert’ (the hat whisperer?) to take a more in-depth look at the headwear of the guests at the wedding of Zara Phillips last weekend.

Melinda Wax, professor of millinery at Parsons [Fashion College] in New York, started off her words of wisdom, with the revelation that, on first catching sight of Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie at Kate and Wills’ wedding ‘The first thing I thought was, “They invited drag queens to the wedding?”  I really did.’

Oooh! Saucer of milk table one! But then Ms Wax goes on to analyse the hats from the current crop of pics in a serious and forthright tone.

On Beatrice’s turquoise offering, she says;

‘I just think that she looks so cute, and I think that it's such a change from what happened at [Kate and William's] wedding. I'm sure she got some great advice. I think the skirt with the flowers over it, it's a little over the top, but it works for someone who's English, you know.’

We think so too.

As for Kate Middleton’s oval Pringle-tastic affair she had this to say: ‘The coat is so structured and there's something a little airy about the hat. I can't really see what the hat is made out of and I want it to be made out of something that the coat is made out of. . .  I actually like the hat much better than the coat. This hat looks wafer-thin. You can see that there's light coming through it, so it's slightly transparent.

They're all very safe you know? The royals, they all wear a nice light-coloured shoe, no one shows up in anything too wild, which is really interesting to me. This looks like a potato chip — that's the only problem.’ The general consensus then.

But the Queen? Nothing but the most lavish of praise, of course. ‘She's getting a little bit more inventive with the frou-frou stuff.’

Now, it might just be us, but we think that someone should be reviewing how New York magazine spends it’s budget…

- Naomi Attwood


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