Aaand, so it continues – The BINTM auditions stage this week reached Dublin and Manchester, which provided a whole host of opportunities for wannabe models to embarrass themselves, mainly by donning ludicrous poses (above and below) as well as the worst carpet we have ever ever seen on the floor of the Dublin audition room (above, top right.)
But what have we learned this week? Hmm? Well, this much is clear:
Grace and Julien’s personality swap continues apace. Whilst Grace behaves in an increasingly shrewish manner towards the contestants, hurling waspish put-downs at them as if they were poorly baked buns in a cookery competition, Julien’s new mega-barnett seems to have softened him to the extent that he now runs after people, and gives them hugs, and smiles and laughs and EVERYTHING. Even Elle said this week that she liked him. In denim.
Dublin, first up this week, was ‘bleak and melancholic (and beautiful)’ according to Elle, though this didn’t encourage her to remove her sunglasses at any point. ‘I can’t see any girls’ she shrieked as she clomped through a shopping centre. Grazia Daily, of course, shouted ‘THAT’S because you’re wearing dark glasses you utter numpty’, but Ms Macpherson chose to ignore us.
We got a ‘Smize’. Finally bowing to public pressure after a whole smize-free sixth season, Elle finally asked one of the girls to ‘smile with her eyes’ before conceding that she was ‘going to do a Tyra’ and saying the S-word. Julien, Grace and Charley cheered, champagne corks popped across the land, and Elle looked mortified. And cross. Really quite cross.
The most cringe-making moment in all of the world ever came towards the end of the show when Tanya from Manchester, powered by a terrifying combination of blind self-confidence and a sob story, was rejected by the judges before returning to the audition room in order to ‘demand answers’ as to why she didn’t get through. Grazia Daily, at this point, hid behind the sofa, as it became ever clearer that there is no way on earth to tell someone they’re a little bit fugly.
Finally, was it just us, or did anyone else think the chemistry between little Ronan Keating and his wife Yvonne was VERY weird? Maybe it was the fact that he was so brimming with ideas when Elle asked for suggestions as to where she could find pretty young girls. WHO knows what it was about.
Next week: BOOT CAMP! It’s gonna be immense.
- Alex Butt