What is R-Patz up to NOW?

03 March 2011

Well now. It has been a long week, Fashion has gone crazy bonkers and started taking over the headlines and we’re only ONE DAY into Paris Fashion Week. What we all need now is a nice cup of tea, a sit down and a look at a lovely picture.

Here we are. R-Patz and a magnificent reptile specimen. BUT What happened moments before this picture was taken? ? ? ? Was it;

a) Patzy and a friend were walking round London Zoo on a day off when said friend dropped her handbag into the alligator enclosure. Patzy, being the all-conquering vampire slayer offered to get them back. ‘No Robert, don’t!’ his friend cried in alarm; ‘it’s too dangerous’ upon which R-Patz replied ‘No fears my friend. I can handle it’ and hoiked himself up over the railings and dropped into the pit  . . .

b) On set of a remake/new updated sequel of that classic film we all enjoyed on Saturday afternoon TV; CROCODILE DUNDEE, R-Patz practises his famous catch phrase – ‘That’s not a Knoife! THAT’S a Knoife!’


c) Wandering through famous Knightsbridge department store, HARRODS, the handsome actor mistakes the exotic pets section for the Menswear department and tries this baby croc on for size as a stylish scarf. Watch out Patzy! His teeth look ever so pointy!

- Naomi Attwood


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