Yay and Woo-hooot! It’s the most exciting Monday of the year! Oscars nooz! Yes, the night when we go to bed dreaming of spangled frocks and wake up to find out who won, who lost, who did the most over the top tearful acceptance speech and who did the least-convincing-loser false grin. Yay! Before the event we knew that Colin Firth was a shoo-in for best actor and Natalie Portman (Grazia Daily, of course being prominent members of the Portman fan club – go Portman!) would SURELY win best actress for Black Swan. AND that the presenting side of things was having a makeover.
Oh yes. In a kind parallel presenting universe to the petulant Ricky Gervais at the golden globes, the Academy Awards had drafted in Anne Hathaway (enormous smile, award-winning teeth, and styled by Rachel Zoe in an extravagant EIGHT outfits, at a reported cost of seven squillion dollars) alongside the very talented James Franco, who was also nominated in the Best Actor category for 127 Hours. So there we were. A young and gorgeous actress with enough fashion clout to keep even Grazia happy and James. My oh my, that boy is a HONEY. Thank you, Academy! Only thing was . . . would they be entertaining? Perhaps not as headline grabbing as Mr Gervais but they DID make this very amusing video, where they appeared in clips of the nominated movies. Dance of the brown duck? Tres droll indeed.
The Speeches . . .
Natalie Portman gushed and lip-trembled the way through her acceptance, thanking her parents for the giving her life, and her fiancé Benjamin Millepied, who she met on the set of the movie that earned her the gong, and is now expecting a baby swan with. Can anything dampen our ardour for this girl? We don’t think so.
Colin Firth was very charming and extremely what they Americans call ‘Briddesh’ sounding a bit like Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral as he self-deprecated his way through a short speech, thanking his wife Livia and lamenting the fact his career ‘has probably peaked now’. Awwww. Well done Colin.
Christian Bale won Best supporting actor for his role in The Fighter. Christian, the jury is not even out on that beard, it is returning a unanimous ‘Guilty’ verdict after only 1 second of deliberation. What were you thinking Christian? You might get away with such facial stylings in Shoreditch, but only just and this is supposed to be the smartest night of the year.
A funny thing is this year there wasn’t really any upset. All the favourites won their categories, no one was gravely insulted by the host and the fashion was . . well, unexpectedly good. Less bland than usual with no one singled out for car crash couture. Everything just went smoothly and according to plan.
Oh yes, that’s right . . There was THIS!
Melissa Leo, while winning the Best Supporting Actress for The Fighter, accidentally (?) did a BIG SWEAR WORD in the middle of her speech. The first person ever to do so in Oscar history apparently, and unfortunately for her, now her biggest claim to fame. Oops!
- Naomi Attwood