Cheryl in Pucci, Dannii in Dolce & Gabbana - its the X Factor Fash Off!

08 November 2010

Now, feel free to disagree with us as much as you like, but were we the only ones to feel a touch UNDERWHELMED by the fashion on the X Factor this weekend? OF COURSE, it could be that we are long overdue for an eye test and it was all in our head, but it left us without much of a spring in our fashion step, somehow.

Let’s turn to exhibit A – Cheryl Cole. A raggedy one-shouldered lace number from Emilio Pucci on Saturday and a sparkly bodycon number for the "Results" show. Huh. Not that any of it was hideous, or ill-fitting or laughable in any way. It just seemed to lack the pizazz that (for example) patterned tights with a jacket and no skirt, or a be-feathered William Tempest creation in Quality Street colour palette more usually display. We absolutely LOVE Chezza but we don’t think she should let the fact that she is slim and trim enough to fit into a skin tight dress in a nude tone blind her to the overall effect of said dress - which is – a sparkly condom with arms and legs. Oh. Neither does it give us any pleasure to point out that Chez had placed a limp corsage stuck to an Alice band on her head. Cheryl, it couldn’t look any sadder if it was an actual baby bird that had fallen out of the nest and died. *Sigh*


And now for Dannii - Australian pocket rocket, singer, dress designer and new mother. She is famous for her array of Victoria Beckham and her very own Project D frocks which are never less well-fitted than the proverbial glove; plus her gravity defying hair. Not a single episode has gone by in the past without Miss Minogue sporting a piece of artistic head-topiary to rival Edward Scissorhands’ own creations, each week bolder than the last, but this weekend it seemed a teeny bit, like, flat, in comparison, although we did like the mini plait at the front. Danni strutted out on Saturday looking like she’d paid a visit to the gift-wrapping department of Harrods rather than the womenswear floor, so big and shiny was her dress bow/bow dress by designer Philip Armstrong. Her Dolce & Gabbana lacy corset was unquestionnably chic, but did it have much impact when set amid the show's pyrotecnics and Simon's radioactive teeth?

Ladies. Maybe we have become spoiled by your weekly sartorial fireworks and uber-exaggerated hairdos. We are sure that even Gaga herself sometimes doesn’t feel like dressing up to the absolute nines. BUT! By now, it's a question of expectations, Missus Minogue and Cole. Think of your public! You can’t let THEM down!  

- Naomi Attwood


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