Last Night’s, er, Best Dressed: Katie Holmes’ Frocky Horror!

01 October 2010

It is with a furrowed brow and quizzical expression that Grazia Daily reports on Katie Holmes’ latest outfit. The actress attended Variety's Power Of Women Luncheon in Beverly Hills yesterday and chose a floral frock from Louis Vuitton’s A/W ‘10 catwalk for the occasion. Let's get one thing straight, under normal circumstances, we would applaud a starlet for embracing their womanly side with the luxury label's ladylike designs, but THIS isn’t ‘normal circumstances’:

We confess that we've become used to seeing, er, questionable style choices from Mrs Cruise, who has admitted to taking sartorial advice from her four year old daughter. And we appreciate she likes to make the most of her leggy legs. But this really takes the biscuit. Because the wonderfulness of the LV collection was in its hourglass silhouettes and midi-length skirts, which Katie has disregarded by rolling hers up into an unflattering puff ball. Oh, we dread to think what creative director Marc Jacobs would make of such sacrilege...* shudder *

To clarify our point, how about we compare it with the beauty originally sported on the catwalk last season? As you can see, several fashion crimes have been committed. These are as follows:

Crime #1: the flowing, full skirt has been turned into an uneven frumpathon that appears to be becoming unravelled

Crime #2: the unsightly mass of crumpled fabric on the torso makes Katie look boxy, thus taking away from the gorgeous Mad Men-esque design.

Crime #3: the neckline has become more droopy schoolgirl than elegant lady, non?

In short, it just ain’t right, especially when teamed with those opaque tights and pointy strappy heels... Why did you do this, Holmesy, WHY?

So please help us understand, dear readers. The curtain pelmet effect makes us wonder whether Katie has followed in her mother’s footsteps by giving the art of drapery a go (we kid you not). Or maybe Stylist Suri got trigger happy with the scissors and hashed the hem? The little tot has been known to customise her own outfits after all, demanding that sleeves are lopped off willy nilly. OR perhaps it’s none of the above and Katie was simply required to tuck the skirt into her knickers in order to cross a stream on the way? Please provide your suggestions in the usual format below and help us explain away this monstrosity. What we do know is that the lady who hacks up a £4000 dress is a braver one than us...    

- Jessica Vince


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