Grazia Daily reviews Britain’s Next Top Model: Episode Thirteen!

28 September 2010

Unlucky for some? Erm, not really. No. Episode Thirteen of Britain’s Next Top Model was basically a great big massive TV hug; the three remaining girls were given a massage, personal guidance from Elle, the chance to model in Bernard Chandran’s show (albeit in some horrendous makeup) and were then told that nobody was going home. But where were the tears, we asked ourselves! Where was the fighting? Well, there wasn’t any. Boo for that.
In truth, Episode Thirteen gave us very little to review (and for ‘review’ it should be noted that we mean ‘mock’.) So, as the season lurches towards its inevitably bonkers LIVE final - more of which later - here is what Grazia Daily has learned from the series as a whole...

Everyone needs a Mr. Nasty.
Julien. Oh, Julien. Grazia Daily has been wondering for thirteen weeks what Julien’s problem is. Is it, we wondered, that the producers keep insisting he wears neon-coloured satin (last week; lime, yesterday; fuchsia)? Or has he just had a slow-burning realisation that THAT haircut was a terrible mistake? Whatevs; his Mr. Nasty makes Anna Wintour look like a sedated Grace Coddington.
Nothing says ‘I know about fashion’ more than a pair of power-glasses.
We aren’t ashamed to say it: we LOVE Grace. We love her immaculate and yet occasionally bonkers wardrobe, we love her salient advice to the girls, the fact that she somehow marries being untouchably cool with being lovely and maternal and most of all we love, love, love her glasses.
Elle can do everything, except for one thing.
Speaking French? Check. Appearing on National TV in a bikini? Check. Saying ‘Julien, Grace and Charley’ so that it doesn’t sound like one unfeasibly long name? Fail. Week in, week out, the luminous Elle has introduced her three fellow judges as ‘Juuuliengraceandchaaarley’. Do you think she even knows they AREN’T one person? We have our doubts.
And finally...
Sorry, but we’ve lasted a whole series without mentioning it. What the flip is Tiffany’s accent about? Eh?

So with the penultimate show out of the way, all that remains is next week’s LIVE final before we find out whether Joy, Tiffany or Alisha will be crowned BNTM champion.

Alex Butt, Grazia Daily’s self-appointed BNTM correspondent will be blogging live from the final, as well as sneaking his way into the green room to grab behind-the-scenes gossip AND keeping you updated on our Twitter feed, Grazia_Live. As you can imagine, Mr Butt is already in a complete tizzy about the event, and will be spending the next week thinking and talking of little else, so feel free to post any questions you may have for him, if only to keep him out of our hair.

AND check back on this very site on Monday from 9pm for all the news from the final as it happens and, of course, to find out who - WHO! - will be crowned Britain’s Next Top Model 2010!


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