Episode Ten of Britain’s Next Top Model was a peculiar episode in which the girls did little more than drape themselves over some menfolk whilst wearing very little, firstly in a shoot with George Lamb for Company magazine (resulting in Elle’s favourite picture of the series - Alisha looking absolutely awesome next to the silver fox) and later a shoot with legendary photographer Terry O’Neill where the London Wasps rugby team held the girls aloft. The reason for this shoot was never explained to us, but by this stage in the competition we were happy to just roll with it because we knew it would be funny.
Now, far be it from us to suggest that the producers of BNTM may have made a tiny error in scheduling the series’ live final for October 4th, but as we watched the end of this week’s installment we couldn’t help but suspect that someone may, in fact, have miscalculated the length of the series. You see, in the Elimination Room last night, there was no eviction. And this was despite the fact that russet-haired Amelia made a right hash of both the shoots, as did beautiful Joy from Leeds and lovely Charlotte, who found themselves in the bottom two. But as they stood waiting to hear their fate, Elle pulled out a performance which knocks her tenure as Joey’s hot flatmate in ‘Friends’ into a cocked hat, looking them in the eyes and telling them ‘you both have to go. You both have to go home and pack you bags’ she said, her voice cracking with false emotion, ‘because…. We’re all going to Malaaaaaaysia!’
And right on cue, the music started and the Elimination Room filled with dancers in traditional Malaysian dress. Julian began to get jiggy in his horrendous lime green velvet jacket and Terry O’Neill stared on, seemingly bemused and frightened in equal measures and presumably wondering why he’d ever agreed to take part. Seriously, it was so bonkers that even Grace got into the groove.
So despite the lack of an eviction, what are our awards for Episode Ten? Well, they are as thus...
The award for ‘Best Supporting Jacket’ goes to...
Alisha. HOW did she get cleavage like that in a jacket with no bra on? HOW? And God alone knows what was keeping Amelia and Joy’s boobs in place during the shoot for ‘Company’. Copydex? Araldyte? Please post your suggestions below.
The ‘Different Around Boys’ award goes to...
Alisha. Alisha is not the quietest model in the competition. In fact, Alisha is generally louder than a team of Vuvuzela-wielding football fans. But, confronted with the London Wasps rugby team in their teeny-tiny shorts, she was rendered virtually unable to do anything more than stand, stare and dribble.
The ‘Hardest Working Wig’ prize goes to...
Was that the same wig that Joy and Alisha were wearing in the London Wasps shoot? And was it, in turn, fashioned out of the coat Grace wore last week?
And the prize for ‘Worst Makeup On A Fashion Shoot EVER’ is awarded to...
Again, it’s Alisha, who painted Charlotte's face for the shoot at BNTM Towers, where the girls were asked to style and photograph each other with guidance from ‘him from fashion academy’ Nicky Johnston. Charlotte's makeup was so bad that in some countries it counts as abuse. Alisha told us last week that she 'doesn't really like makeup'. Darling, I don’t think makeup likes you either.
So, after Alisha's clean sweep of the Grazia Daily awards this week, we look to Episode Eleven when there MIGHT, just possibly, be an eviction in store as we edge dangerously close to the final. Check back in with us next Tuesday as usual for all the best (and worst) moments!
- Alex Butt
Alex Butt is Grazia Daily's self-appointed BNTM Chief Correspondent, and will be reviewing the show every week here on the site. Alex would love to hear your thoughts on each episode and any queries you may have about the show. Please post your thoughts below and we’ll try and pick up on as many as possibly in our weekly reviews of the show...