17 August 2010

It's Britain's Next Top Model Episode Seven!

Last night it finally happened. The line between fiction and reality in Britain’s Next Top Model, which had been pulled ever tauter since ‘Lost Week’ in Episode Four, finally snapped, causing a whole new universe to be created, sucking into its vortex the lovely Nicola and her granny glasses as she was unceremoniously booted out of BNTM.

We knew the line was going to snap early on in the episode when the girls visited the set of Hollyoaks where they were asked to do acting, Cheshire-style. This, as we know, involves stripping down to one’s undergarments whilst the comedy foil tries to chat you up. But before that, there was a drama workshop where the ladies had to think of a ‘scenario’ (‘I know!’ said Charlotte, doing nothing to dispel the myth that models are not cerebral creatures ‘we’re girls on a competition to find a top model’) and then act it out. The result was slightly less convincing than an episode of The City but brilliantly, because we still heart her even though she has only disappointed us since Week One, Joy won the competition. Yay for Joy!

Later, the remaining eight took part in a GENUINE episode of Hollyoaks (to be aired on August 27th, FYI), where they played themselves. Do you see what they did there? Do you seeee? Because Grazia Daily was, frankly, forced to pause at this point and grab a stiff drink.
 
There was also a horror-themed photo shoot, the results of which were so ridonkulous that even Elle was unable to properly assess the images without giggling. Luckily, Julien was on hand to be mean and pouty. ‘It’s NOT a good picture, you DON’T look good in it’ he told Charlotte as she started to well up to the strains of the sad Elimination Room music. Actually, despite slagging off the picture (which wasn’t that bad, was it?) Julien was responsible for Episode Seven’s most salient line; the outstanding ‘I think we all need a reality check’.

Oh come now, Macdonald. Don’t ruin our fun! There’s plenty more madness for us to dissect yet. This is what we loved this week:
 
Tiffany and The Axe
 
Who on earth gave the one with the death stare an axe for the horror shoot? Were they MAD? ‘You look so convincing’ chirped the judges in the Elimination Room, seemingly oblivious to the way the glint in her eye has seamlessly been shifting from coquettish to maniacal ever since HairGate. Well no shizzle, Sherlock, we thought. That girl looks like she’s more au fait with an axe than Julien is with his St Tropez bronzing mitts.
 
Britain’s Next Naked Model
 
‘I’ve never worn a dress’ said Amelia of her outfits thus far in the competition, as the makeup artists on the set of Hollyoaks unpacked carrier bags full of clip-in weaves and underwear made of synthetic fibre. ‘I’ve come here to do modelling, and I haven’t ever worn a dress’. No, Amelia, this is true. But you have worn nothing but chocolate and been told you look like a sausage (by Julien, natch). What more could you possibly want?

Nobody likes Kirsty
 
The Everybody Hates Kirsty saga rumbles on, like the ongoing threat of a BAA strike. This week, she didn’t actually seem to DO anything, except be a bit annoying and over-confident after the horror shoot, but nevertheless there was a showdown again. This time, all the girls took it in turns to tell her why they don’t like her. Haven’t we been here before, we thought to ourselves?
 
What’s up with Julien’s legs?
 
We only ask because he hasn’t been seen out from under the desk in over three weeks. Maybe he’s run out of trousers. Or Grace has put Superglue on his seat.
 
So, to next week – well, Episode Eight sees the ladies go Primark-crazy on another shopping spree as well as undertaking probably their most bonkers challenge yet – modelling plastic bottles on a glacier for Isklar mineral water. We. Can. Not. Wait. See you in seven days!

- Alex Butt

Alex Butt is Grazia Daily's self-anointed BNTM Chief Correspondent, and will be reviewing the show every week here on the site. Alex would love to hear your thoughts on each episode and any queries you may have about the show. Please post your thoughts below and we’ll try and pick up on as many as possibly in our weekly reviews of the show...


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