Grazia watches Britain’s Next Top Model: Episode Two!

13 July 2010

Top row (L-R) - Hannah Goodeve, Alisha White, Tiffany Pisani, Kirsty Parons, Amba Hudson-Skye.
Middle row (L-R) - Nicola Wright, Delita Cole, Amelia Thomas, Charlotte Holmes.
Bottom row (L-R) - Olivia Oldham-Stevens, Susan Loughnane, Rachelle Harry, Joy McLaren, Harleen Nottay.

So, Episode Two of Britain’s Next Top Model has come and gone, and the fourteen have been whittled down to thirteen thanks less to the judges dramatically kicking one sobbing girl to the curb and more to… erm… Hannah’s decision that she would rather be teaching English than modelling, leaving Delita to go through to week three. This says, we suspect, more about the reality of modelling than it does about the glamour of teaching English. But hey, Julien Macdonald DID promise Grazia Daily personally that ‘anything could happen’ did he not?  
Despite the fact that there was not nearly enough Grace Woodward for our liking, Episode Two was a fabulous exercise in getting to know the remaining girls. Current favourites are Welsh Amelia with the pre-Raphaelite hair and fierce-featured Kirsty, both of whom won this week’s catwalk competition and left Week One’s frontrunner, Joy from Leeds, in the shade. But only just. Because we’re nice like that, we’ve got a picture of the final fourteen for you here, so that you can keep up to speed with what’s going on.
So my pretties, what have we learned from this week’s outing? Well read on, for these are our best bits…

Best Put-Down Of The Week:
As we were reminded last week (thank you muchly, sharp-eyed commentator JustyJ) Julien Macdonald was King of the barbed put-down when he judged Project Runway back in the day. One such insult, the legendary ‘It looks like a RUSTY BAG’ (a what? But how could a bag get… Oh never mind) has gone down in history as Best Put-Down In A Welsh Accent Ever. Time will tell if Julien can beat that nonsensical insult on BNTM, but this week we saw him tell Alisha she ‘looked like a Curly Wurly’ as she sashayed down the catwalk with a bit of a wiggle on. Perhaps he could only use food-based insults for BNTM? ‘You look like a demented kumquat’ – that sort of thing.

Depressing Realisation Of The Week:
We are ancient. We know this because on the underwear shoot that Joy excelled at, with her amazing cheekbones and raven hair and dark eyes, there were three male models who came outside in the freezing cold to greet the girls. The boys were all pale skin and blue nipples and shaking legs; we wanted to give them a dressing gown and a cup of tea, seeing as they appeared to have a combined age of about 36. But the girls were leering at them. Like, with sex-eyes. “But it’s nine in the morning!” we thought to ourselves, “and they don’t even look like they’ve had breakfast yet!” And at that point, we knew we were officially old.
This Week’s Most Ludicrous Insight Into The Fashion Industry:
In fashion ‘normal’ walking equals a galumphing great power-mince. ‘It’s just kind of normal’ said Irish Susan with the russet hair, as she stomped down the catwalk in front of guest judge Sarah Morris. We will be practising.
Most Genuinely Interesting Sub-Plot Of The Week:
Harleen, who has an amazing, angular beauty is Sikh and felt during the underwear shoot that she was being torn between her culture and her ambition. Her pictures from the shoot were gorgeous, but as Harleen looked at herself straddling languorously over one of the boys we saw something in her big eyes that told us she wasn’t quite sure whether she was doing the right thing or not. Brilliantly, Sarah Morris said “I don’t think her family should be disappointed with this shot at all” as the judges decided on who would stay and who was going. We suspected that this totally missed the point.
Most Promising New Venue Of The Week:
In truth, it was a toss-up between the model’s house and the Elimination Room for this award, but the Elimination Room wins. This is because it a) has its own theme music, b) we can call it the ER and – crucially – c) it is the only room in the show where Elle is a bit catty. This week, we could tell she was in the mood for a good put-down because she had straightened her hair and was wearing a white pantsuit that brought to mind Joan Collins in Dynasty. Sure enough, as Grace declared ‘I don’t believe her even when she’s standing in front of me’, about the gorgeous Olivia who has the amazing feline features of Eartha Kitt, we hear Elle agree. ‘Nor do I’ she says quietly. Ha! Even thought we don’t SEE her say it - HA! We heard you Miss Elle Mac-Fur-Son! This is what we call in the trade, ‘a start’.
So, as the hairspray settles and Hannah begins her PGCE, we look to next week. And let us just say this to you: it’s makeover time. We suspect from the preview (check back next Monday to see the trailer for Episode Three) that the delicate balance of reality TV (two challenges, few tears, one elimination) may be upset by some post-haircut sobbing. See you here in seven sleeps!

- Alex Butt

Alex Butt is Grazia Daily's self-anointed BNTM Chief Correspondent, and will be reviewing the show every week here on the site. Alex would love to hear your thoughts on each episode and any queries you may have about the show. So what did you think of Episode Two? The judges ? The girls? Please post your thoughts below and we’ll try and pick up on as many as possibly in our weekly reviews of the show...


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