Mama Mia! Que Bella (Ma) donna!

07 July 2010

What a hard old life that of international mega star Madonna must be. All those business class flights, flunkies to hold umbrellas over you between your chauffeur-driven Merc and the stage door, personal trainers to order you about until you could bounce tennis balls off your abs and fresh baskets of puppies and kittens in every dressing room.

What the likes of world-conquering performers like her Madgeness REALLY hanker after is a simpler life. If only she could live on a tiny island off Italy in the olden days (black and white is so much more forgiving on the ol’ neck and jawline). If only she could return to a time when your clothes were hand sewn for you by your own Nona, rather than Marc Jacobs running you up custom Louis Vuitton for events or Dolce & Gabbana putting together your whole tour wardrobe.

In that perfect world, pleasure was simply dandling a chubby-cheeked bambino on your tummy rather than jetting all the way to the other side of the world to have to choose an orphan from a vast and bewildering selection.

Back then, a night out would not be populated by such drones as Elton John, Stella McCartney and the Saudi Arabian Royal family, but instead, several generations of the same family all in one room, where they feel relaxed enough to stare stonily at the camera rather than having to beam fixedly at the paparazzi. *sigh*

If only Madonna could have her wish. In the meantime she’ll just have to content herself with starring in the latest campaign for Dolce & Gabbana.

- Naomi Attwood


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