16 October 2009

The S/S ’10 trends that terrify us!

The S/S ’10 shows feel like a lifetime ago, and the clothes won’t be in the stores for months, but already we have a sense of worry about what exactly we will be wearing come the return of the sun. Not that we don’t trust the designers. On the contrary in fact, we will wear everything that they tell us to, and that’s why we’re scared! While we are excited about the emerging trends, from rouching and draping, stripes galore, poppy neons and femme fatale silhouettes, there are some that we aren’t desperate to jump into. And if we’re this wary of them now, you can guarantee that we will all be wearing them come March!

Clogs

chanel chanel

‘I don’t care if Karl Lagerfeld tells me I should wear them, I’m not doing clogs!’ We heard after the Chanel show. Yes clogs are making a comeback and this time they have heels. The last time we wore these bad boys it was the ‘90s, the shoes were purple and they had a slingback (God, how did we ever get boys to fancy us??). And they were cool. Karl showed them with minis, but we’re already thinking they would look cool with cropped jeans. Damn it Chanel, you’ve got us already.

Lime Green

issa Kate Moss

Seriously. Lime green. Who looks good in lime green? Who do you know who looks good (and not sick) in lime green? No one. Well, ok, maybe Kate Moss, but the woman’s a supermodel for crying out loud. We are not supermodels and we’re not wearing lime green.

Extreme Harems

jaeger jaeger

Admittedly we stayed clear of harems for a while and tutted quietly when we saw people making a mess of them. But then we tried some on, paired them with tights and ignored the tutts and MC Hammer heckles in the street. But now harems have upped their game and gone extreme on us. Where once the crotch sat between our thighs, it now hangs below our knees. Eek. But the trick is to wear them in fluid fabrics like the gorgeous ones at Jaeger London, so they billow rather than restrict. But you will still need to take mini steps though to avoid rips!

Underwear as Outerwear

dior dior

Yup, we are all going to become Superman, wearing our knickers over our trousers. Plus our bras over shirts, slips as dresses, and suspenders visible under chiffon dresses. So really we’ll be like a sexy Superman. But don’t think that you can just reveal your old M&S favourite that’s a bit tatty with the underwire poking through. No, no, no ladies. This is the perfect excuse to invest in well posh pants. Which at the same price as a dress, you’ll want to show them off.

Double Denim

 Twenty8Twelve Twenty8Twelve

Welcome to Hicksville. Double denim is back and now that Twenty8Twelve has walked it down the runway, we can no longer think of it as just the bad self-styling of Matt Damon and the likes. Double denim is the kind of fashion no-no that even your mum knows about. The model beautiful can perhaps get away with it, but more than likely we will look like a foreign exchange student. And as for patchwork denim…Jeez.

Mini Minis

ungaro ungaro

No-one needs to see that much leg. Or more specifically, you don’t want to see that much of my legs.

Kitten Heels

giles deacon

Oh come on Giles, really, kitten heels? We like high high heels to add the inches, and flats for marching down busy high streets, but what exactly is the purpose of a kitten heel? It adds an inch (why bother), doesn’t elongate the legs, but hurt as much as stilettos. Leave these for the lovely ladies of the city and give us a pair of six-inchers!


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