Why I Wrote This: Stop Defining Me By My Relationship Status

18 February 2014 by


In this week's issue of Grazia, writer Polly Dunbar asks why there is STILL such a stigma attached to being single.

At 32 and single, I’m hardly a rare creature. There are more single women today than ever before – and according to the Government Office for Science, by 2031 the number of single households will have outstripped any other kind.  Which is why it’s infuriating that there’s still a stigma attached to being alone.

The fact so many of us are choosing to remain single should be seen as a good thing: we’ve made massive strides forward in education and career terms, which mean we no longer have to marry for financial reasons. We can wait until we meet Mr Right, rather than settling for Mr Dull but Solvent.

It doesn’t always feel that way, though, which is why I wrote about the ‘Single Stigma’ for this week’s Grazia. When people find out that I don’t have a boyfriend, there’s usually a tedious period in which they try to work out why. Is there something wrong with me? Am I hedonistic, work-obsessed or unrealistically fussy? The constant stereotyping is like being forced to sit at the Singles Table at a wedding. All. The. Time. 

Single women don’t want to be defined by our relationship status. We’re not all the same just because we’re not part of a couple, so it would be nice if, instead of being pitied or patronised, we were just treated as individuals. Surely that can’t be too much to ask?

Read Polly's piece in this week's issue of Grazia, on sale now.


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