17 July 2014 by

It's The Case Of The Ex... Who Won't Go Away

Karrueche Tran, Rihanna Interview: The Ex That Won't Disappear

Karrueche Tran opened up on American talk show Just Keke

When Chris Brown’s on-again, off-again girlfriend, Karrueche Tran, spoke out this week about her heartbreak over Chris' ex (ie: Rihanna, you may have heard of her?), I couldn’t help but feel for her. Karrueche, who recently supported Chris through his stint in rehab and jail, revealed on American talk show Just Keke that she was 'fighting a battle' with the singer.

She also said she understands why people have been so interested in their situation. 'You know the reason why people tuned into this so much was because it's relatable. I have girlfriends, I have family who's gone through the same situation. It's the case of the ex. We all go through it, do you know what I'm saying?'

Yes, I do. Karrueche is struggling with a pretty awful case of the ex that won't disappear. Chris and Rihanna's controversial relationship first came to a head in 2009 when he brutally attacked her following a pre-Grammys party. The couple split and Chris started dating Karrueche before ditching her to give it another go with Ri-Ri in 2013. Ouch.

Karrueche Tran and Chris Brown looking loved up on Instagram

But no matter who you are, having a ex that just won't go away is pretty rubbish for your relationship. See I, like Karrueche and like pretty much every woman EVER, have been there. It's the case of The Ex That Won’t Disappear, aka: the ex that your boyfriend is still in contact with, or (even worse) the ex that your boyfriend cheats on you with.

Yep, all three of these have happened to me and I’m not alone. Unless you’re 12 or your significant other has been hiding under a rock for the last ten years and therefore hasn’t ever dated anyone, then the chances are that they’re going to have an ex or two laying around, which is fine… until they start rearing their (sometimes) ugly heads.

I remember the first time it happened to me. I was 19 and I’d just started dating a guy who, for the purpose of this article, I’m going to call Ben. About a month into our relationship, Ben started getting messages from Lucy, his ex. They’d dated just before we got together and it was pretty clear that she was on a one-woman mission to get him back. At first it didn’t bother me - he reassured me that it was me who he wanted to be with, but after a while it began to be pretty upsetting. Not least because she knew he had a new girlfriend (ie: me).

Of course, this interaction isn’t just down to her. Ben was messaging her back – just like Chris has reportedly been doing with Rihanna. Similarly I've had exes who would not leave me alone whilst I've been dating someone new and understandably my boyfriends haven't been that happy about it.

Rihanna

Rihanna's social media accounts have become a one-stop bikini picture shop [Instagram]

What makes things worse is in this grand old age of the Internet - even if you're not directly talking to your ex, they can still be ever present on your social media feeds. From the ex whose constant stream of bikini pictures fills up your feed, to the one who can't stop instagramming #tbt pics of their happy times. You only need to look at couples like Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber who seem to use their Instagram accounts solely for the purpose of taunting each other to know that this is 'a thing'.

So where do you draw the line? How much contact is too much contact? My general rule is that if one person has been left devastatingly heartbroken (aka: your relationship hasn’t come to a mutual conclusion), any contact is too much contact. Especially if it starts to have a detrimental effect on your new relationship. After all, exs are exs for a reason.

A good way to think of it is, 'Am I good enough friends with my ex that I could happily introduce them to my new partner?' If the answer is no and you know it would be awful / there might be crying / your ex still loves you, maybe it's time to cut ties.

Watch Karrueche's emotional interview below...


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