So after 12 long, grubby days in Australia’s possibly-fake-but-we’ll-never-know jungle for the latest series of I'm A Celebrity, the first celebrity (in the loosest sense) was evicted from the jungle last night. And for those living in a sack/ not on twitter it was: suspended Tory Mid-bedfordshire MP Nadine Dorries. See ya babes!

Nadine Dorries: not a winner

Her departure was unsurprising. Boring, some said. After all, despite the drama surrounding her entrance – it was claimed that she was not allowed to take time off and was subsequently suspended (or as one spokesperson said, ‘had the whip withdrawn) – her time in the jungle was rather unsatisfying. We expected rows on abortion, on women’s rights, on posh boys. We got some of the latter, when she said she wanted to ‘smack’ Made In Chelsea’s Hugo Taylor, but then everyone was saying the same things about him. Instead she was perfectly measured, amusing even, forming a maternal bond with Helen Flanagan and doing jolly well with the rice duties. I'm not defending her and this is not to say I was in any way keen to listen to her discuss termination dates with Charlie Brooks over a plate of koala anus (for which we dodged a bullet no?), but still. It was an interesting eviction.

Which begs the question: why did she go?

One thought (my thought) which chimes nicely with the reason MK1, Jade and now Ella have been voted off X Factor is that it was a public mutiny. On X Factor, the more talented and judge-supported the act, the more the viewers wanted to put a spanner in the works of Cowell’s machine. Which is why Christopher will probably win. Ditto here – she was the one woman who promised to cause controversy, who put her career on hold and garnded the most newspaper inches, which is why she was voted off. Anarchy among the UK viewers.

So who should have gone first?

1. David Haye

Nice bod aside, he’s mean. And quite stupid. And arrogant. And mean, stupid and arrogant are a worrying combination. He made Brian Conley cry, made Helen Flanagan cry and annoyingly does well on tasks so keeps everyone overly fed.

2. Eric Bristow 

Also mean. But, unlike David, is quite smart which is even more worrying. No he can’t really speak like a normal person but he certainly makes himself heard while making horrible jokes about Helen’s skin. And I’m sorry but darts isn’t a real sport.

And who should win? 

Helen Flanagan. So the phobias might be fake and her insistence on wearing a bikini come rain or shine is wearing a little thin, but this is mainly to spite David and Eric. #teamflanagan