21 August 2013 by

*NSync Are Reuniting? Here's 5 Things We Want (And Don't Want) To See

According to New York Post Justin Timberlake is set to ‘do a Beyonce’ and reunite with J.C., Lance, Joey and The Other One at the MTV Video Music Awards. Yes, Backstreet’s Back! Oh no wait….*NSync are back! But before they interrupt Joey Fatone’s various appearances on reality shows titled things like Dancing With The Stars On Sea we’ve run down a list of things we would like (and stuff we wouldn’t) from their reunion.

1. An Unironic Repurposing Of Their Bad Fashion Styles (Including The Hair)

Because their career was relatively short (three albums), we never saw *NSYNC mature. So they spent their entire career committing a variety of late 90s/early 00s fashion crimes. On the eve of their return we feel that it’s important to recreate these ‘classic’ styles.  Bring back the multi coloured leather jackets, the shiny jumpsuits, the grit coloured jumpers, the curly hair (and perhaps even the cornrows), we say.  Rachel Zoe, where are you when we need you?

2. A Recreation Of Their Classic Videos

*NSYNC as jerky marionettes? *NSYNC as plastic dolls trapped in shrink wrapped boxes? Yes, yes, that’s what we’d like ideally.

3. And Their Classic Moves

Like this...

and this...

4. But No New Song (Please)

In a world where it’s all about the gaudy nostalgia, reunited boy and girlbands struggle with new material. For every Patience there is a Headlines (Friendship Never Ends).And we reckon it would be difficult to deal with the deafening audience cries of ‘NOOOO’ when the Lance Bass would pipe up after Tearin Up My Heart with the dreaded words “and here’s a new one!”

5. And No Medley

We have to admit we sort of hate a medley. It’s the musical version of really annoying Vine. It’s basically saying ‘here are the best bits of 5 songs randomly stuck together in a Jive Bunny-style generator’. JT listen up – we want FULL versions of the hits please. And by that we mean Bye Bye Bye, It’s Gonna Be Me, Girlfriend (oh hai Nelly!) and Gone.

 


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