'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' were back on our screens last night, bickering, brawling – and playing with pet pigs. If you missed it (seriously, what is more entertaining than watching these Italian-American divas?), here are our highlights..
1. Melissa's maths puzzle
After Teresa accuses her of not going to visit her father-in-law in hospital for four days, Melissa tries to justify herself. "He went in on the early hours of Sunday. On Monday and Wednesday I had a sore throat, so I went on Wednesday. I don't know where she's got four days from." Er....
2. Gym showdown 1
Teresa and chief trouble-maker Kim D are at lunch when Teresa gets a "tip off" that Jacqueline and Melissa have been spotted in "her" gym. After getting over the outrage that they dared invade her treadmill territory, they revert to some playground style bitching about the ladies' weight. Shame on you, sisters.
3. Gym showdown 2
After not seeing him for a year, Teresa spots her brother pumping iron at the gym. Being the bigger person (or at least the person with the biggest hair) she goes over to speak to him. Things don’t go well, as Joe calls Teresa's husband 'it', and she throws a bottle of water over him. Joe pumps even more iron to save face at being covered in Evian.
4. Raging Rosie
Not strictly a housewife, but the sister of one. Still, she’s swiftly becoming our favourite cast member for her tell-it-like-it-is booze-fuelled rants.
5. The new cast member
Caroline’s sister Fran comes to stay and brings with her a pig. As you do. No jokes about not being able to tell the difference from the other housewives, please.
6. Get out of my grill
Ahead of her 12th birthday Joe Giudice takes daughter Gia out for ice-cream for some father-daughter time, where she admits that her sister teasers her for having a 'hairy grill'. Who knew hair could even grow on teeth? And talking of Gia…
7. Gia’s birthday cake
We need to talk about it. Seriously. What WAS it?
Watch the all new series 5 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey first on Lifetime (Sky 156 and Virgin 242)