Just when you thought it was safe, Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens. This year's line-up features, amongst others, serial fame-hunters Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, Neighbours star Toadie, Kathy Beale off Eastenders, Claire from Steps and some chap off a telly show who looks top notch in a kilt. Early tipsters are betting on Rylan Clarke and Frankie Dettori as potential winners but in the twisted world of CBB anything could happen over the next few weeks. To help out our wayward contestants, here's Grazia Daily's handy list of dos and don'ts to make their time in the Big Brother house more bearable.
DO GTFO If You’re Feeling Unstable
The first series of CBB way back in 2000 will forever be remembered as the time Vanessa Feltz Totally. Lost. The. Plot. Hiding behind dark glasses and scrawling words on the table like a befuddled serial killer, Vanessa terrified the heebie jeebies out of her housemates and viewers alike.
DON’T Enter If You're Involved In Politics
As if wrapping her nether regions in sheets and posing against the Houses of Parliament wasn't enough to embarass the bejeezus out of her Speaker of the House husband, Sally Bercow's turn on CBB made her Have I Got News For You fodder for months. The worst political outing on the show though? George Galloway doing THAT cat impression. *Shudders*
DON'T Get Off On The Wrong Foot
Last night's launch saw Simon Cowell's ex and self-confessed coconut lover Paula Hamilton mistake fellow housemate Ryan Moloney for a member the crew come to rescue her from the dark basement to which they've been banished. Come on love, it's not exactly a nobody, it's only bloody TOADIE.
DON’T Expose Yourself As A Racist On TV
Sad times in telly history as members of CBB5 ganged up on Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty. The public came out overwhelmingly in support for Shilpa, voting her the winner with 63% of the vote. CBB stayed off the air the following year.
DON’T Tweet From Inside The House
Ego-maniac and one half of the celebrity world's most fame-hungry couple 'Speidi', Spencer Pratt well and truly disregarded the fourth wall last night by tweeting from inside the house. Plus, trying to start a poety competition on Twitter? Pretentious much?
DO Work Out Before You Go In
Those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle abs weren’t fooling anyone Darryn Lyons.
DON’T Forget That You Have A Girlfriend Outside
When fake celeb Chantelle entered CBB4, rocker Preston wasted no time in cosying up to the future mother of Alex Reid's child (gross). Luckily for him, and his girlfriend Camille on the outside, it wasn't like his antics were broadcast live to the nation on an incredibly popular TV show - oh, wait...
DO Remember Your Own Name
Jackie? Or Brackie?
DON’T Boast About Owning Illegal Things
When Dead or Alive singer Pete Burns boasted his coat was made of gorilla fur, it was promptly evicted from the house and taken into police custody.
DO Make A Spectacular Escape
If it all gets too much, make like Towers of London singer Donny Tourette and leg it over the wall.