Don your party hats ladies and get ready to pop your party poppers as Diet Coke hits the big 3-0. To celebrate this milestone, they haven’t indulged in a killer, exclusive party doing the okey-cokey (cue canned laughter) with a bevy of hunks from their Diet Coke Break adverts from over the years. Instead our favourite drink (it is sober January after all) has generously brought back the Diet Coke hunk, in the form of Andrew Cooper - from Manchester, no less - who has been appointed the new hunk in the 'Gardener' and yes, the ad is still set to the iconic Etta James 'I Just Want To Make Love To You'. This has got us delving into the archives to find our favourite advertising gems to quench your thirst. Disclaimer: you don’t need a degree in media studies to understand the subtext of these adverts.
1. The Gardener:
To kick off proceedings, we begin with the brand new ad. Yes, Mr Diet Coke is back with a bang and making lawn mowing ever so sexy. In just a normal day at the office for the new hunk, the innocent city gardener has a Diet Coke can thrown to him by a gaggle of girls. Of course it explodes all over him and requires Andrew to down his tools and strip off. You might want to close your mouth now…
2. The window cleaner:
Cast your minds back to a time when phones were the size of a satchel, had aerials and didn’t even SMS let alone allow you to tweet. It’s barbaric, practically the stuff of The Canterbury Tales. How did anyone survive? Well with a little help from their 11.30am appointment with the office window cleaner! Alas our window cleaner doesn’t pack that much muscle, but praise the Lord that ours doesn’t attempt the shirtless look *shudders* Now where is the nearest perming facility and where do we get those Pat Butcher-esque earrings from? This video leaves us wanting some '90s style in our lives as well as a buff window cleaner - but we could be reaching for the stars with that one.
3. The maintenance man:
Hands up if you’ve ever been stuck in a lift and hoped your rescuer would come in the shape of a tall, dark and handsome beefcake with a T-shirt a touch on the small side? YES! we say flinging both hands in the air. We draw the line at causing the lift to break down ourselves like these three minxes do in this clip, we have a problem with close confinement. However, you do sometimes have to make personal sacrifices for the greater good…
4. The builder:
A hot builder? Are you kidding me, who even knew they existed! Well Diet Coke found one in the form of Lucky Vanous and no, really, that is his genuine name. The office girls are getting their ‘perv on’ in this advert, watching Lucky enjoy his ice cold refreshment in the only way he knows how, shirtless. Little did you know Lucky is quite the catch, he now resides in LA, living the life of a bachelor with his pet parrot, Mr. Zeke. Awww a friend to the animals, as well as woman folk of 1994. What a catch!
5. The delivery man:
For those of you who get your Diet Coke out of a dispensing machine, look away now! At this lucky office the ladies get their Diet Coke delivery on the shoulders of a rather hunky man. Jeez some girls get all the luck. In this blast from the past, on cue, blouses are unbuttoned and legs are uncrossed before the delivery boy commences a slow motion walk across the office which would put David Hasselhoff (circa Baywatch) to shame. Can we get a cold shower over here?
And the future hunk?
With the Diet Coke hunk making a much welcomed come back, it has got us thinking who we would want to be the Diet Coke hunk of the future. It has to be a toss-up between Jake Gyllenhaal and the Adonis, Henry Cavill, the next Superman. Jake has got all the chief components you need, the seductive eyes and the face carved by angels whilst Henry has rugged down to a fine art with the muscles to boot. Either way, if you’re reading this Jake and Henry… if you wouldn’t mind, its 11.30am and we are in need of a D.C. Now don’t forget your tight t-shirt and you better have practiced that slow motion walk or we just won’t be satisfied.
by Josh Newis-Smith @omy_josh