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Last night saw the UK premiere of season five of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the reality show where the scale of the catfights are only matched by the ladies' towering heads of hair. Episodes one and two kicked things off in typically dramatic style. While New Jersey was coming to terms with the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, the housewives were still recovering from last season's epic showdown. Here's our highlights from the first two episodes...
1. The aftermath of Hurricane Sandy
After Hurricane Sandy hits New Jersey, damaging hundreds of homes, the housewives take time out from their bitching to help those less fortunate. Forget food packages or manual labour, Teresa knows what they really need…a second-hand gold lame dress. ‘After Hurricane Sandy, there are people out there who need glamorous and beautiful clothing and shoes,’ she explains. We think they might appreciate a new roof more Teresa, but we know your heart is in the right place.
2. Teresa’s hair
Seriously, this thing has got a life of it’s own. It started off big last night, but by the end of episode two, we reckon it had doubled in size. How much is real, no-one knows. But if Teresa ever falls on hard times (and watch this space on that one), she could sell it to a wig company and live off the profits.
3. Bead wars
When Teresa and sister-in-law Melissa arrange - for the sake of their kids - to meet up for the first time since their epic falling out a year earlier, they need to find neutral ground. So they choose a bead shop, obviously. After all, no-one can fall out over a plastic necklace, surely? Of course not. A bracelet though…well that’s another matter.
Melissa (“sexy life, loyal wife”) and husband Joe moved to their current house to be five minutes away from sister in law Teresa. But since their bust up, it no longer seems like such a desirable neighbourhood, so they’ve put the house on the market. It turns out no-one else wants to live near Teresa either though, as the place ain’t budging - despite being a ‘bargain’ $3.8million. Hope comes when Nisa, stylist to the stars and the mother of P-Diddy’s child (obviously), comes to view it. But when a piece of the fake marble sink falls off in her hand, she swiftly goes off the idea.
5. Teresa and Caroline’s power lunch
Despite not having spoken to her own sister, Dina, for months, Caroline “I tell it like it is” Manzo takes it upon herself to try and mend the family rift between siblings Teresa and Joe Giudice. She sets up a meeting with Teresa in what looks like the least popular restaurant in the world. They drink water, disagree on everything and then leave. Fun lunch date.
6. Nicholas melts his mum’s heart
After all the drama, last night’s RHONJ ended on a heartfelt note. Since Jacqueline’s son Nicholas was diagnosed with autism she’s wondered if he’ll ever tell her he loves her. As a surprise, her husband has been working with a therapist to help him say it - and he surprises her by getting him to say it in front of her friends and family. Cue lots of tears from everyone. See, it’s not all fights!
Watch the all new series 5 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey first on Lifetime (Sky 156 and Virgin 242) every Tuesday at 9pm