The 9 Most Shocking Celebrity Break-Ups Ever From Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas To Johnny Depp And Vanessa Paradis

31 August 2013

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GALLERY >> Shocking celebrity splits

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Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis

These guys were so un-media and so private despite the fact they looked SO COOL ALL THE TIME and had two gorgeous kids and owned an island for god’s sake. A whole island. On top of that, and we know this is shallow, but did we mention how cool they looked? My god did they look damn cool. Constantly. RIP.

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Amy Poehler and Will Arnett

How did this not work?! The comedy golden couple are living proof that when you put two of the funniest people on the planet together, they won’t necessarily laugh their way to old age. After nine years, the pair stopped laughing and amicably parted ways. We cried.

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Heidi Klum and Seal

It was less the fact they split, more the way in which it happened. For seven years they went around looking dead happy when photographed together, until they’d announced their divorce and things got bitter very quickly with a custody battle and Seal badmouthing her in the press. Apparently she “fornicated with the help”. Oh, Heidi.

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Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams

Because, y’know, THE NOTEBOOK AND EVERYTHING. After portraying what is definitely (and we’re not exaggerating here) the greatest love story ever committed to film, Ryan and Rachel ended up falling in love IRL but, hey, life isn’t a film. They broke up after just three years but Gosling still described her as “one of the great loves of my life”. Sigh.

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Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe

Maybe it was how non-dramatic their marriage seemed, or how cute they looked just chilling with their daughter in the park that made their split so shocking. Or maybe it was because of Cruel Intentions. Alright, it was definitely Cruel Intentions. But at least they’re still amicable, and are pictured hanging out with their daughter every once in a while, which is nice.

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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Say what you like, we were still surprised when this finished. Especially considering it ended with Sergeant Nice Guy Ashton  cheating on his much older wife who had spent £226k on making herself look the same age as him, if not younger. And she seemed so sad when it ended. Oh god, it’s still raw.

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Madonna and Guy Ritchie

Even though you knew Guy probably had to put up with whole suitcases of insane, the sight of him standing behind Her Madge at red carpet events, blinking like an awkward kid who’d wandered in by accident was ever so sweet. And made us think that he might just be the man to handle the Material Girl for life. Unfortunately, he wasn’t.

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Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt

We know, we know, it’s a pretty obvious one and they weren’t even together that long plus we LOVE Brangelina and we’re over the moon for Jen’s new lovely fiancé Justin Theroux. But that still doesn’t stop us pining ever so slightly for the pre-Mr-and-Mrs-Smith days when Branniston would sweep the red carpet looking dazzlingly happy and we all thought it would never end.

RIP Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas – they’ve had a tough couple of years but we still didn’t see this one coming. Sadly, it isn’t the first time a celeb split has knocked us sideways, rendering us all a bit overcome with emoshe. Of course you never know what REALLY happened but that still doesn’t stop us mourning the loss of these other couples we thought would stay together forever (sob)…

By Stevie Martin


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