If Shia LaBeouf is really hoping to fade into obscurity, he's going exactly the wrong way about it. Which is why we know that this is not his aim at all, because Shia is super smart. That's just one of the things we love about him. Yes, despite rubbing pretty much everyone up the wrong way with his odd antics over the last two months, the 27-year-old actor still has the ability to make grown women go weak at the knees.
In fact, just like any other bad boy his bizzaro behaviour unfortunately only serves to intensify our interest as we attempt to unravel the mystery that is Shia. Like, is this all just part of a secret movie project in the vein of Casey Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix's alternate world documentary I’m Still Here in which actor Joaquin tries to ditch thespian life in favour of becoming a rap star? Shia too has recently been sporting a beard - surely the first physical step for anyone wanting to orchestrate a public breakdown. Or is he really just living the life of an authentic performance artist, where everything he does, from Tweeting abuse at Jim Carrey to plagiarizing the work of Daniel Clowes is a scene in an elaborate play that he himself is writing. Who knows, but he's certainly figured out how to get our attention.
Not since Miley Cyrus twerked has a star made heads spin so suddenly and so frequently with the unbelievable content of their media coverage. 'Hollywood actor Shia LaBeouf in South East London pub brawl' - say whaaat? 'Shia retires from public life via twitter' - say nooo! 'LaBeouf walks the red carpet of his latest film premiere wearing brown paper bag on his head' - now this is just getting silly.
In light of the recent attacks against my artistic integrity, I am retiring from all public life.— Shia LaBeouf (@thecampaignbook) January 10, 2014
But walk the Nymphomaniac red carpet he did last night with a bag reading 'I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE' on his head. It's a line that Shia has been tweeting religiously since January 11th shortly after he announced he was leaving the limelight 'In light of the recent attacks against my artistic integrity'. He also published a Metamodernist Manifesto that our regular people brains can't even begin to comprehend.
LaBeouf's Nymphomaniac co-stars were also left in a state of bewilderment when the actor walked out of a press conference earlier in the day after quoting a line that French footballer Eric Cantona once delivered in a statement in 1995: "When the seagulls [pause] follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much.” The actor then abruptly left stage, never to return.
But this is all just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Shia's *ahem* charms. Here's some of the many reasons why we love him...
1. Because he quoted Eric Cantona in a press conference.
2. Because he's now an internet meme.
3. Because - STUNTS.
4. Because he digs British girls.
5. Because he sent pictures of his penis to Lars Von Trier.
And that's how he secured the Nymphomaniac role (maybe): "The first info we got - and I'll never forget this because my entire team reacted with such a fear - the first request on the production end, not from Lars, was pictures of my penis."
6. Because he can grow a bad ass beard.
7. Seriously badass.
8. Because he made Selena Gomez loose her cool.
"The first info we got - and I'll never forget this because my entire team reacted with such a fear - the first request on the production end, not from Lars, was pictures of my penis."
9. Because he's friends with Optimus Prime.
And you want that guy on your side.
10. Because he's secretly got a fro that rivals Justin Timberlake's.
11. And Jonathan Creek's.
12. Because he likes to eat salad.
13. Because he's a consistent tweeter.
14. Because he can breakdance (AND RAP).
Flick to 4.20.
15. Because we used to run home from school to watch him in Even Stevens.
16. Because really all he wants to do is just cross the road like a regular dude.