Eva Longoria, Victoria Beckham and Kate Beckinsale in 2012 [Getty]
Frozen grapes all round – it’s Victoria Beckham’s 40th birthday today! While we imagine that being married to Goldenballs makes every day feel like a party, we have to admit we were a tad disappointed at the fashion designer’s decision to have an ‘intimate family celebration’. After all, with an amazing wardrobe and gorgeous family to show off, plus we imagine a fairly limitless budget, we feel that Vicky should be hosting a fabulous event (and inviting us, natch.) So here are our top suggestions for London party places fit for a Posh princess...
1. Fashion and Textile Museum, Bermondsey Village
What better space for a fashion bash? Everyone’s favourite pop-star-turned-designer (sorry, Pharrell, you’re a close second) could really let loose with some creative imput in the building’s ‘design gallery’, where she could receive up to 160 guests. Plus the building was the brainchild of exclusive architect Ricardo Legorreta, dontcha know, so that’s the small talk with Anna Wintour sorted then.
2. Madame Tussauds, Marylebone Road
OK, so obviously we’ve never had our own waxwork (it’s defo on the bucket list) but if we did, we imagine we’d never want to be parted from it. Posh and Becks both have their own waxed-featured tributes safely nestled at Madame Tussauds, which can also be hired for events. Imagine the mega-lolz to be had by leaving their doppelgangers to host the party, and sneaking around to scare A-listers. Tom Cruise would wet himself.
3. The Clink Prison Museum, Clink Street
While a Prison Museum might not scream ‘elegant soiree’, hear us out on this one. Firstly, Becks could reprise his role from Only Fools and Horses, imagining he’s been caught selling dodgy goods from Del’s van and has been caught ‘bang to rights’. Secondly, ‘inmate monochrome’ with arrow-print accessories seems like the ultimate in quirky dress codes. Thirdly you can only host 30 guests, so it would be truly intimate – just like the birthday girl requested. Plus she could put Geri Halliwell in the stocks.
4. Kensington Palace, Kensington
Prison not posh enough for you? Well, it doesn’t get more upmarket than Kensington Palace. There’s a huge range of rooms available for different numbers – we like the sound of the Sunken Garden – and the Beckhams would finally find a reason to fetch their wedding thrones back out of storage. Wills and Kate live just round the corner, so everyone could head to theirs afterwards for frozen margaritas and karaoke (probs).
5. The Lexi Cinema, Kensal Rise
If you haven’t watched Spice World the Movie since you were 10, we insist you do so immediately. Seriously, don’t bother getting to the end of this article. It’s almost certainly a work we’ll come to celebrate as a classic, and Victoria (“Hold on to your knickers, girls!”) Beckham, is undoubtedly its great asset. What better way to mark the big 4-0 than a private screening, complete with popcorn (OK, kale-based snacks) and snogging her hubby on the back row.
6. London Zoo, Regent's Park
We think the four littlest Beckhams would approve of a zoo-themed party, and the family could hire various spaces, from the penguin beach to the tiger zone. Plus they could add on visits from residents - somehow we can't see VB plumping for a llama or donkey, but a dainty kestrel might meet with approval. While leopard print was traditionally Scary Spice's domain, we think it would make a rather wild dress code.