[Katie Holmes Twitter]
Oh, how we rejoiced when we found out Katie Holmes had finally joined Twitter. How exciting, we thought. Imagine the Twit Pics, we thought. Then we saw them and thought again. For a second we wondered if little Suri had taken them. Oh Katie, you must have so many cool famous person things to show us, so where on earth are they?! To give you a helping hand in the future, we've compiled a set of commandments for you to try, for all of our sakes...
10 Commandments For Katie's Twit Pics
1. Thou shalt crop out the Fed Ex van
The tulips really should have been the focus in a picture captioned ‘tulip fever’. We’ve noticed cropping does seem to be a bit of a problem for you. You might find Instagram easier as you have to make your pics square.
Tulip fever :) spring in nyc pic.twitter.com/M7GkX2wFK7— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) April 9, 2014
2. Thou shalt not focus on the turkey
We kinda see what you were doing here, but it might have been nice to see the table settings or decorations, rather than just a ceramic turkey on a shelf at your mum’s house.
3. Thou shalt not pop up the first street art you see
There is a lot of amazing street art in NYC. It might have been worth waiting til you saw a good bit, rather than, err, this.
Cool find in west village today. Have a great weekend everyone pic.twitter.com/3ltqPPng6w— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) March 15, 2014
4. Thou shalt not state the obvious
We quite like this ‘windy Katie’, but we have noticed your captions are very literal. You don’t need a windy selfie for a windy day. Go on: shake it up a bit.
Another windy day! Happy Wednesday :) stay warm!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/wzJbSc11G0— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) February 12, 2014
5. Thou shalt not bleach out the zebra
You are on safari. The zebra feels quite crucial to the picture but we had to do a right squint before we saw it. Might have been worth trying different angles to get that lighting a bit more balanced. Or maybe just take the zebra as a separate shot altogether.
Loving South Africa. Me with a zebra pic.twitter.com/pQBTqmUVGL— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) October 26, 2013
6. Thou shalt give a sense of scale
For all we know, this could have been the world’s hugest ice cream, but there is just no way of knowing the size of something unless you give it context. This could have been the perfect excuse for a selfie. If not your head, then any object would have done the job.
7. Thou shalt experiment with facial expressions
Selfies have their place but not when they all look exactly the same, day after day. You should follow Cara Delevingne’s Instagram and get some ideas. Who knows, you might discover a different 'kooky' side to yourself. Maybe.
Having great time working on dangerous liaisons" pilot :) pic.twitter.com/4B1p8qGCHr— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) April 2, 2014
8. Thou shalt shoot above the ankle
We like where you were going with this but we really want to see more than a bit of an ankle.
We had a wonderful time at the Nutcracker. Thank you to the beautiful and talented dancers for saying hello! pic.twitter.com/6x3BJ9YNSG— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) December 24, 2013
9. Thou shalt avoid camera shake
Pop your elbows in to your ribs and you will find your hands are much steadier. This would have been a great picture if you had been vaguely in focus. This photo reeks of Suri Cruise/any 7 year old.
Happy Wednesday!!!!!! Wishing u all a wonderful day!!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/J1IVvzQVDW— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) March 26, 2014
10. Thou shalt bin the filters
Where on earth were you when you took this? Was it taken from beneath a swamp? We can only surmise you popped on a sepia filter. Sometimes they are great. Not so much with food.
Great day for frozen hot chocolate. Love NYC :) pic.twitter.com/RIeu4tfwCD— Katie Holmes (@KatieHolmes212) January 19, 2014
Click through the gallery below to see more of Katie's calamitous Twit Pics >>