Girls Guide: The 10 Most Quoteable Quotes From The Season 3 Premiere

21 January 2014 by

Top 10 Quotes From Season 3 Episode 1...

1. Angie: Maybe she has trouble being fucked like a piece of meat… Guess what she’s pregnant. She’s pregnant with your child. What you put in her, it made a baby in her and now she’s pregnant. How does it feel to abandon your son? Yeah, feel it. It’s yours, it’s fucking yours.

Natalia: No I’m not pregnant.

Angie: But you could be. You could be impregnated by this donkey and he’d never know because he fucking disappeared.

2. Natalia: 'He shoots his cum all over the place like it's god damn confetti. In my hair. And I got a god damn blowout after I left you.' Best post break up put down ever?

3. Adam: 'I don’t hate your friends I’m just not interested in anything that they have to say.'
Hannah: 'I’m not interested in anything they have to say, that’s not the point of friendship!'

4. Jessa: Let's talk about Mindy meth face over here, Mindy enjoys wearing scrunchies. No one has addressed that

Mindie: Scruchies? I've never worn a fucking scrunchie in my whole life.

Jessa: You want to wear them though.

5. Jessa: 'I figured my sh*t out already when I was 5 years old. Heroin is really fun, but it can also kill you'

6. David: 'Why didn’t you tell me you were suffering from mental illness? That’s something we can work with.'

7. Hannah: 'My only limitation is my own mind. Like, I hold the keys to the prison that is my mind.'

8. Adam: 'And then one day, after being f**ked up for months, I realised something: I didn't know her. She didn't know me. Just because I tasted her cum and spit or could tell you her middle name or knew what records she like, that doesn't mean anything. I didn't know her. That's now a connection, anyone can have that. Really knowing someone else it's a completely different thing, and when it happens you won't be able to miss it. You'll be aware, and you won't be hurt or be afraid, OK?'

9. Shoshanna: 'Basically it’s been a very sexually adventurous time for me. I’m alternating nights of freedom with nights of academic focus. So at the end of my senior year I will have had both experiences while also still being super well prepared for the professional world.'

10. Jessa: 'I’m only here because it’s what my grandmother would pay for. I do 60 days, and then she gets me a plane ticket and rent and actually these boots that I want. They’re called Uggs. They’re from Australia.'

Wish you could quote Girls on demand? Well we're here to help as we will bring you the best quotes from Jessa, Hannah, Shoshanna and Marnie each week with our Girls Guide. Last night the season 3 opener aired in the UK, with oodles of phrases we'd love to squeeze into conversation.

You'll remember that Christopher Abbott (aka Charlie) left as he didn't like the direction of the show: 'The world that Lena [Dunham] wrote was very real, especially in New York, but it wasn’t as relatable for me on a personal level.' So how did they brush over Charlie's exit from the show? Well he just left. Marnie says 'This whole situation makes no sense. I mean, we bought the ingredients to make grilled pizzas. And we were going to make grilled pizzas, and then the day we were supposed to do that he left me. On what f*cking planet does that make any sense?' The land of television, Marnie.

Kim Gordon, Richard E Grant and Orange Is The New Black's Danielle Brooks (aka Taystee) all played rehab patients, victimised by Jessa who is on a mission to make them all turn to booze thanks to her put downs. It's going to be the season of the cameo as Jenna Lyons appears as Hannah's editor and Lena has teased us with the prospect of a Victoria Beckham cameo.

Other highlights from episode one include the edible chocolate coffee cups and Kim Gordon saying 'I've never worn a f****** scrunchy in my whole life!" Angie wins the quote of the week, when she drops the 'she's pregnant' bomb at her BFF's ex, Adam. Take note girls, this is how you win in a run in with an ex. So much better than Charlotte's 'I curse the day you were born' rant at Mr Big.

Take a look through the gallery above to see the best quotes from Season 3, Episode 1. Contains spoilers, obvs...


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