Disney Turns 90! Here's 10 Life Lessons The Films Tried To Teach Us

17 October 2013 by

Disney Turns 90! Here's 10 Life Lessons The Films Tried To Teach Us

The media corporation that brought you Mickey and Minnie, totally amazing films like The Lion King and more theme parks than you can shake a stick at turned 90 yesterday. From it's first films such as Snow White and Fantasia, to the Toy Stories and High School Musicals of today, Disney's been about making firm family film favourites for years. 

Here's 10 life lessons we took from Disney films (which in hindsight, we totally shouldn't have).

1. Woodland Creatures Make Excellent Friends

They do not. They resolutely, absolutely do not. Foxes carry diseases, birds will poo on your sofa and if you try and keep a friendly red squirrel as a play pal, you'll go to prison. They are endangered and protected.

disney (5430) Animated Gif on Giphy

2. You Should Totally Change Every Aspect Of Your Life For The Boy You Fancy

See ya later family, never liked you anyway friends, My Man is all I need in this world. Consider yourselves stopgaps until He came along,

disney (5430) Animated Gif on Giphy

3. Get Married Before You're 20 To Avoid Eternal Spinsterhood

Still single and 20? Give up now sister. Get off those dating sites and plough your subscription money into a flat full o' cats.

Behold, the Disney princesses' ages:

(Picture and research: Buzzfeed)

4.You're So Much More Attractive When You're Asleep

Showing off your sparkling personality? So not cool. Sitting pretty and keeping your cupid-bowed lips tightly together? Total man bait.

photoset (4216) Animated Gif on Giphy

5. Hair Is A Big Swishy Beautiful Mane

VOLUME DARLING. IT'S ALL ABOUT VOLUME.

6. Just Because A Man Keeps You Prisoner, Doesn't Mean He Can't Turn Out To Be Your True Love

It's not love, it's called Stockholm Syndrome.

disney (5430) Animated Gif on Giphy

7. When Everyone Is Happy The Story Ends Right There And Stays Like That Forever

It definitely doesn't continue on to the part where Pocohantas went to England, found out John Smith was already married and died of some terrible disease.

disney (5430) Animated Gif on Giphy

8. You Can Always Tell When Someone's Evil Because They're Ugly And/Or Fat

Pretty people don't do bad things. Ever.

creepy (1320) Animated Gif on Giphy

9. If You Disobey Your Parents To Hang Out With Wildly Inappropriate Guys, Things Will Absolutely End Well

And definitely not with him cheating on you in the car park behind McDonalds.

the little mermaid (378) Animated Gif on Giphy

10. Acting Like A Man Is The Only Way To Get Ahead In Life Sister

Brush up on your footie knowledge, oogle the nearest set of breasts, scrape off your make-up and wave a non-manicured adios to that pesky glass ceiling. Equality is for wimps.

disney (5430) Animated Gif on Giphy

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