22 July 2014 by

An Open Letter To Blake Lively: We Need To Talk About Preserve

Blake and Ryan at the Met Ball [Getty]

Blake with husband Ryan Reynolds at the Met Ball [Getty]

Dear Blake Lively, we need to talk. Now don’t get us twisted, we love you, we love the way your golden hair shines on the red carpet in Cannes, we love the way that Ryan Reynolds loves you (even though we’re really jealous), we love the way that even though the show ended two years ago we’re still trying to perfect your Gossip Girl look.

But something happened today to make us question our feelings. We think you know what we’re talking about. Preserve. No, not the food stuff, your new website. Or as you call it, your new, ‘part magazine, part e-commerce hub, part philanthropic endeavour’.

We had high hopes, Blake. When you alluded to the fact that it wasn’t going to be like Goop (sorry, Gwyneth) in your US Vogue interview, we thought there was potential. We don’t understand where it all went wrong. We were expecting something light, fun, easy to get along with and you let us down.

Blake Lively, We Need To Talk About Your New Website, Preserve

Blake's website has just launched [Preserve]

Firstly, the website is so dark. And we don’t mean to call plagiarism but the font you’ve used looks like it’s been stolen from that Past Times shop. You remember Past Times, the place where you can buy all the imitation Tudor cushions you want? The place that closed because NOBODY SHOPPED THERE.

Thirdly, we are confused by the shop. You are a arbiter of taste, Blake, even though you say you are not, YOU ARE. You are a woman whose style people everywhere want to emulate - and you don't even have a stylist - yet the second product in your shop is curry flavoured ketchup. Curry. Flavoured. Ketchup. There are also four different types of salt. Call us shallow, Blake, but we don’t want salt, we want beautiful dresses that make us think that we could one day look like you. And we want to know what products you use on your hair (incidentally, what products do you use on your hair?)

Blake Lively, We Need To Talk About Your New Website, Preserve

You can shop on the website too [Preserve]

We're trying to love Preserve, Blake. We so desperately wanted to. But we just can't. We're even disappointed that you don't refer to your husband Ryan (did we mention we love him?) as Ryan, but as 'him.' At least if he was going to have some involvement you could have made a bigger deal about it - you know, maybe splashed some topless pictures of him around the site. A few home made videos with close ups of his face. Shower shots... Anything. 

We can only hope that in time things will improve... did we mention the shower shots?

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