Well, well, well, ladies and gentleman it’s finally upon us. Celebrity Big Brother 2013. Yep, the programme that has bought us George Galloway as a cat and Jackie Stallone as er, Jackie Stallone is back with a whole host of new housemates - and the fun kicked off last night.
From The Hills favourites Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt to Rylan Clarke from the X Factor, from mini race horse jockey Frankie Dettori to Gillian Taylforth, anyone who is anyone (or people who were once someone) is in the house.
Former football player Neil ‘razor’ Rudduck, ex model (and ex of Simon Cowell) Paula Hamilton, Claire Richards, Ryan Maloney (TOADIE FROM NEIGHBOURS!), Corrie actress Tricia Penrose, and a Page 3 model Lacey Banghard (no comments on that surname please) are all in there too. As well as a young actor called Sam Robertson who we’re presuming has been picked as the ‘eye candy’ for this year’s series.
But what’s going to happen over the following weeks as they all adjust to living in the house? Well, at this precise moment your guess is as good as ours. But here are our top ten predictions…
1. Someone will walk out on day one – our money’s on Tricia
2. Lindsay Lohan will make a guest appearance (come on, we ALL want her to be on the show)
3. Heidi will use the show to try and launch her music career (for the second time) by trying to persuade Rylan to release a duet. Claire Richards will cry because she was left out.
4. Lacey Banghard (lol) and Sam will strike up a romance, come on, they’re the two youngest it HAS to happen
5. Gillian Taylforth will have a diary room break-down lamenting the fact that whilst she looks like Kate Moss, she is not actually, Kate Moss
6. Paula Hamilton will spill all of Simon Cowell’s sex secrets.
7. Ryan Maloney will be pushed to tears because the housemates continually call him Toadie
8. Razor Ruddock will be pushed to tears because the housemates don’t know who he is
9. Spencer and Heidi will renew their wedding vows, but only after she’s thrown a tantrum after losing one of her hair extensions
10. Frankie Dettori will fall down the plughole when he’s taking a bath. What? He’s really small.