The readers of Heat magazine have named bronzed demi-god slash diver, Tom Daley the Hottest Hunk of 2013. The boy with a penchant for tiny trunks splashed off stiff competition from Harry Styles and the rest of Taylor Swift’s ex-boyfriend collection to take the title. But what is it about Tom that makes him so hunky? Here’s our low down and our gift to you, on this, the most depressing week of the year. So down your tools ladies, and treat yourself…
1. 2012 OLYMPICS:
Tom officially contributed to global warming last year, by significantly raising the temperature at the London 2012 Olympic Games. From his first dive in those ‘tinys’, Tom was instantly lusted after by One Direction fans and Grandmas alike. And boy doesn’t Tom know his audience. Whilst the other divers washed down in the hot tub post dive Tom, somewhat suggestively, took to the showers to await his scores. And W-O-R-K-E-D it *clicks fingers*. The camera loved it. We loved it. Moreover after a terrible year in his personal life, Tom came through to take a much deserved bronze medal. Shall we just get ‘We heart Tom’ T-shirts printed now?
2. THE TRUNKS:
Those trunks are so tiny, the boy is practically naked half the time. Not since David Gandy’s Dolce moment have trunks been worked with such perfection. And he is in them ALL the time. No one has spent more in the public domain in such little fabric although we haven't consulted the Guinness world records for this. Anyway, it’s good for the nation’s wellbeing when lycra is modelled with such swagger.
3. THAT TAN:
A fine tan is the perfect partner to a six pack and isn’t Tom a great golden shade? If we mere mortals dived off the 10 metre board with that much tan on, we would leave a sea of orange behind us. Not our Tom. No, no! His tan remains unscathed by the relentless water action, just how does he do it? Sun beds, or just one industrial Saint Tropez tanning lotion? Either way we want your tips now Tom, on a postcard to Grazia Towers, thank you, please.
4. THOSE PEARLY WHITES:
Surely every toothpaste company in the western hemisphere, nay, THE entire civilised world wants those nashers in their advertising campaigns. One flash of that pearls is enough to send tingles through even the most un-suspecting female, who should really know better. That’s right, we are looking at YOU!
Not only are we all more well-rehearsed in our diving lingo and now know that Linda Barker is a bit of a babe at 51, Splash! has confirmed our love for the Tomister. Not only does he take time out of his schedule to train the odd washed up soap star how to dive, we get prime time Tom action every Saturday night. Anthony Ogogo almost stole his limelight though in that Kylie-esque number (almost).
6. THAT YOUTUBE VIDEO:
What does one do when you are a certified hunk and you have time off between training sessions? Naturally you gather your other pretty hunky friends together and film a spoof of the LMFAO hit, ‘Sexy And I know It’. A video with this much muscle flexing and gyrating should really come with a health warning. Has anyone got a fan handy? Is this doesn’t melt the snow, nothing will.
And finally for those of you over the age of 20, we leave you with a quote from Tom: ‘I don’t see myself as a hunk. I just think of myself as a normal person who does to school.’ That’s right, he still goes to school. If you read that quote, neglect the school boy issue and only see his modesty coming through, you too are part of Team Tom: The Hottest Hunk.
By Josh Newis-Smith @omy_josh