According to new (mind-exploding) research, we women are apparently genetically programmed to fancy a man with a GSOH. Sure, it’s something everyone knows already but why not use this as an excuse to compile a list of the top ten funniest (and therefore hottest) manclowns complete with their best moments? You’re welcome. Call it “grabbing an opportunity with both hands” and insert a very clever joke about wanting to grab them. Then take a look at our (in no particular order) list and try not to laugh yourself into a genetic lust-frenzy.
1. Russell Brand
There’s something about Russell isn’t there? His undeniable sex appeal makes American TV presenters (and everyone else) go so gooey he has to give them a telling off - and his fierce intelligence makes up for the fact he looks like he’s been dragged through a Dickensian jumble sale backwards. This man is 80% liquid charm (10% hair, 10% weird necklaces) and we’re powerless to resist.
2. Jason Segal
It was a toss-up/laugh-off between him and Seth Rogen but twinkly-eyed sexman Jason pips Seth to the post thanks to the fact that, while they can both can play the “gawkily loveable underdog” (rewatch Forgetting Sarah Marshall), Jase proves he can also do“uber-sexy” with his stoner ladiesman bit-part in Knocked Up as well absolutely nailing the songs in The Muppets. Talking of nailing... we, y’know, bet he has nice nails.
3. Sasha Baron Cohen
We like a man who lacks vanity - and Sacha’s played some fairly repulsive characters in his time. Who’d have thought that, behind the toe-curlingly awkward Borat and the bizarre Bruno, there’d be a bizarrely toe-curlingly attractive guy with killer bone structure and smouldering sex appeal? Isla Fisher, that’s who - she’s tapping that. And, in the most respectful way possible, we totally would too.
4. Jack Whitehall
Fresh Meat returns soon and Jack Whitehall will continue to make us compulsively fantasize despite the fact his character, JP, is a bit of a dick. Why? Because, aside from his eyes (LOOK AT THEM), Jack is the sort of well-bred young man who’d be charming to your mother while also a demon in the sack (probably). Yeah, we wouldn’t mind being this posho’s bit of rough.
5. Edgar Wright
You might not have seen him in front of the camera, but Edgar is the director behind Scott Pilgrim, Shaun of The Dead, Hot Fuzz and the World’s End (among others), so he qualifies as a funnyman. Bonus: he looks like a sensitive, mad-hot poet type you can introduce to your parents (make sure you’re mum doesn’t hit on him) plus he has puppydog eyes AND the ability to grow an excellent beard. Oh, and talent too obvs.
6. Andy Samberg
We’re not sure why Andy Samburg isn’t topping Most Sexy lists all over the planet - ever since we saw him, er, have a great time in his own trousers over Bruce Willis at the end of Sixth Sense (watch the above clip, we haven’t gone mental) we’ve been Lonely Island fans. Big time. And mainly because Andy is insanely hot, totally silly and looks excellent in sunglasses - weirdly, we really want to go paintballing with him. Is that a thing? Well, whatever, it’d be a right laugh.
7. Paul Rudd
FACT: Paul Rudd makes every movie he’s in roughly 80% funnier. Plus he has the whole package: not only do you just know he’d be wickedfun on a date, but would also make a great dad and you’d giggle loads and he’d be there for you and excellent in bed and oh my god we need to sit down. Watch Clueless or I Love You Man for more details. Or Knocked Up. Or 40 Year Old Virgin. Or anything, really.
8. Bernard Black (Dylan Moran)
Yes he’s a fictional character but there’s something about this chain smoking, wine guzzling man-child that really does it for us and we don’t know why OK? He sticks jam covered toast to the ceiling. He can’t do taxes. He probably hasn’t showered since 1998 but my god we wouldn’t mind err helping him get his toast down and giving him a good shower and sorting out his taxes etc. Then snogging him.
9. Jermaine Clement
Yeah we don’t buy this Flight of The Conchords hottie’s act that he’s all awkward around girls. We bet a plane ticket to New Zealand (he’s a kiwi, that wasn’t just a weirdly specific bet) that Jermaine’s a proper smoothie when it comes to Business Time - whether he’s serenading or just chatting us up. Although, of course, if he IS nervous about flirting then we’d be happy to show him the ropes. Predominantly by jumping him.
10. Charlie Brooker
OK so he may not be conventionally chiselled, but Charlie’s sardonic one-liners and grumpy TV musings makes us want to kiss him on the, y’know, MIND. Plus, if you can watch Screenwipe without snorting then you’re sorely lacking in the GSOH department and his Guardian columns are an excellent, if ranty, read. Look, we just want to brighten up his day alright? Although his wife - the gorgeous Konnie Huq - is probs doing a fine job already. Hmph.
By Stevie Martin @5tevieM