He’s our favourite star of Made In Chelsea and the only man we know who can successfully sport suit, an Aztec inspired blanket jacket and skateboard simultaneously. No, it’s not Milly’s dog. It’s the Chelsea who famously claimed his motto was ‘Capitalism makes you beautiful’, who caught us all out with a surprise goatee for the latest series and who has worked out the formula to succeed at basically everything (or so his new book says). It’s Francis Boulle!
Yep, just as his facial hair adventure gets underway, so too does Francis’ latest book deal, Boulle’s Jewels, The Business Of Life. And – good news! – following the purchase of this literary virtuosity, you too can live The Life Of Chelsea. No biscuits to inherit? No matter – Francis will teach you how to win in finance, business, dating and, of course, pranks.
‘I think it’s good to approach the early stages of dating as a classic military campaign,’ Francis told Grazia during an exclusive chat last week. ‘Without diminishing the romance, obviously.’ Obviously. ‘And when you break up with someone, always take a gift.’
And Francis’ top break-up gifts? ‘It really is dependent on the amount of time you’ve spent together,’ he says. ‘If it’s just a couple of weeks maybe a voucher or something. WHSmiths or M&S. For a month, it could be a single ticket to a show – they’ll have to get used to going to events alone now.
‘When I broke up with my girlfriend of six months, I gave her a Prada purse. She was really happy with it – it’s just to soften the punch.’ True to his loveable MIC character, this is swiftly followed up with: ‘Erm, I don’t hit women; that’s not what I meant.’ He pauses. ‘It’s to soften the blow. Sort of.
'Erm. Do you know what I mean?’
Yes, Francis. We do. And we’re eagerly waiting to hear what the next break up present will be. So, how about plus three years, Francis? Co-habiting? ‘Mmmm,’ he ponders. ‘That’s got to be a puppy. She’s going to be all over the place, she’ll need something else to cuddle after you’ve left. It’ll help to distract her too.’
Intriguingly, he also admits to having partied with Courtney Love, been directed by Spielberg, conquered Mount Fuji and hooked up with someone from a Harry Potter film.
We still don’t know who that was, but we’re hooked. If you’re still not convinced, have a think about this one: there’s a picture of Francis dressed as a bear inside.
Francis Boulle? Winning.
Boulle's Jewels is on sale from Thursday, November 8, www.amazon.co.uk