19 October 2012

Strictly Come Dancing Vs The X-FACTOR: Who Is Top Trumps?

GALLERY >> Strictly Come Dancing Vs. X-Factor Face-Off

You know we’re on the downhill slope towards Christmas when the two talent juggernauts start dominating the weekend TV schedules. Strictly Come Dancing and the X Factor are both in full swing, battling for column inches and ratings. We pit their stars against each other to see who wins Grazia’s sofa Saturday top trumps…

By Michael Hogan

The Host With The Most

Bruce Forsyth
Who? Showbiz legend Sir Brucey’s hosted Strictly since it started 10 series ago.
Styling: Tuxedo and tap shoes.
Catchphrase: “Nice to see you, to see you nice.” “Time to meet the stars of our show.” “You’re my favourite.”
Strengths: Old-school patter. Big chin.
Weaknesses: Doddery at age 84.
Rating: 6/10

Dermot O’Leary
Who? Warm, witty X Factor presenter for the last five years.
Styling: Action man hair and dapper Savile Row suiting. Known to dabble in rollnecks.
Catchphrase: “Your Saturday night starts right here.”
Strengths: Little comedy dances and excited twirls.
Weaknesses: Being shorter than most of the contestants.
Rating: 9/10

The Head Judge

Len Goodman
Who? Head judge on both Strictly and US version Dancing With the Stars.
Styling: Double-breasted suits with slightly spivvy accessories.
Catchphrase: “Seveeeeeeen!” “From Len, a ten”
Strengths: Cockney banter and ballroom know-how.
Weaknesses: Getting on a bit at 68. Hates the crowd or Craig disagreeing with him.
Rating: 7/10

Gary Barlow
Who? Take That frontman who replaced Simon Cowell as chief judge last year.
Styling: Sharp blazers, thin knits, stubble.
Catchphrase: “This is a serious singing competition.” Also fond of the word “absolutely”.
Strengths: Exudes authority. Mums love him. Harsh but fair.
Weaknesses: Storms off in a sulk when his acts get voted off.

The Female Boss

Darcey Bussell
Who? Retired prima ballerina in her debut series as a Strictly judge.
Styling: Demure lacy frocks and glossy hair.
Catchphrase: “Core strength, yeah? Breathe, ok? Posture, yah?”
Strengths: Strong on technical detail and practical tips to celebs.
Weaknesses: Made a nervy start, hence that annoying vocal tic, yah?
Rating: 6/10

Tulisa
Who? N-Dubz star gone solo. Her act Little Mix won The X Factor in her debut series
Styling: Short dresses, skyscraper heels and dodgy hair dye.
Catchphrase: “Ballids.” “On point.” “My little muffins.”
Strengths: The most “contemporary” judge on the panel. Desperate to win.
Weaknesses: Dead-eyed and desk-bangy when angered. Plus she’s no Cheryl.
Rating: 7/10

The Queen of Mean

Craig Revel Horwood
Who? Aussie-born choreographer and panto villain of the Strictly panel.
Styling: Black suit teamed with a flamboyant brogue and Tango tan.
Catchphrase: “Dis-ah-ster, darling.” “Spatulistic hands.”
Strengths: Doesn’t show favouritism or over-score like his fellow judges.
Weaknesses: Prone to criticising for the sake of it. Comments get drowned out by boos.
Rating: 9/10

Louis Walsh
Who? Pop manager turned daft old luvvie of the X Factor panel.
Styling: Suit with rollneck or snazzy shirt, suspiciously youthful face.
Catchphrase: “I want. You. In. De foinal.” “You remind me of a little…” (insert inappropriate comparison)
Strengths: Close friend of Simon Cowell. Entertainingly eccentric.
Weaknesses: Soft spot for boybands, novelty acts and dated song choices.
Rating: 6/10

The Hot Favourite

Louis Smith
Who? Double medal-winning Olympic gymnast and bookies’ favourite to lift the glitterball trophy.
Styling: Side-parting, tight outfit to show off his buff bod.
Catchphrase: “Dancing’s a completely different discipline to gymnastics, honest.”
Strengths: Backflips, good looks, post-London 2012 feelgood factor.
Weaknesses: Slightly cocky. Needs to knuckle down in training.
Rating: 8/10

Ella Henderson
Who? Grimsby schoolgirl who’s impressed consistently so far and become a hot tip to win.
Styling: Retro frock, up-do, red lipstick to highlight her huge mouth.
Catchphrase: “I’m not dating George from Union J, I’m just concentrating on my music.”
Strengths: Big soulful voice and sturdy Northern down-to-earth attitude.
Weaknesses: Specialises in Adele-like ballads so might struggle with uptempo numbers.
Rating: 9/10

The Mature Glamourpuss

Jerry Hall
Who? Veteran Texan model and ex Mrs Mick Jagger. At 56, she’s the oldest woman on Strictly this year.
Styling: Long slinky gown and cascading blonde locks, like Jessica Rabbit meets a mermaid.
Catchphrase: “Ah’m sure having fun but dang, my feet hurt.”
Strengths: Great poise, never-ending legs, witty one-liners and oozes glamour.
Weaknesses: Admits she’s lazy. Walks through routines rather than dances.
Rating: 8/10

Melanie Masson
Who? Mum-of-two, children’s entertainer called Fairy Flutterby and oldest X Factor finalist.
Styling: Hippy chick clothes and huge blonde curls. Resembles Nicola Roberts’ mum.
Catchphrase: “Did I mention that I’m missing my daughters? Oh, several dozen times?”
Strengths: Roof-raising rock voice.
Weaknesses: Tends to shout towards end of songs. Maybe too old for this audience.
Rating: 5/10

Scores

It’s a closely-fought contest but The X Factor just sneaks it, with a total of 70 points to Strictly’s 66. But with two months to go, it’s still all to play for. Keeeeeep dancing! And facing the muuuuuusic!


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