What do chicken, eyeshadow and sheds have in common? Answer: They’re all subjects of Fifty Shades of Grey spin-offs. Yes, really. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then author E L James must be feeling pretty amazing at the moment.
Now, don’t get us wrong, we speed-read our way through the trilogy with the best of ‘em. We marvelled at the clean crispness of Christian Grey’s bed sheets, we mustered all our willpower not to skip to the rude bits, we enjoyed doing the literary equivalent of shouting at the TV every time Ana exclaims “Oh my!”.
But, as with any book, TV show, film or other cultural phenomenon that reaches stratospheric levels of success, there comes a saturation point, a time when someone needs to say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. And that’s how we feel about all the Fifty Shades parodies that are cropping up at the moment.
We’ve already had Fifty Shades-inspired eyeshadows. We’ve already learnt that not one, not two, but THREE different clothing lines are in the offing which will allow you to slob out in a Christian Grey-inspired grey hoodie or cavort around your bedroom in an Ana-esque garter. And we’ve also seen the Fifty Shades Magazine with eyebrow-raising articles such as ‘Sex Whisperer: “I use my body to fix broken men like Christian Grey.”’
Well, now there’s a cookbook to add to the growing collection of tributes. Entitled Fifty Shades of Chicken by FL Fowler, the cover features a trussed-up chicken on a plate (wonder if its Inner Goddess is wrestling with its Conscience?). Look inside and there are ‘delicious’ sounding recipes like ‘Dripping Thighs’, ‘Sticky Chicken Fingers’, ‘Vanilla Chicken’ and ‘Mustard-Spanked Chicken.’ Erm … can you imagine serving any of that up to your mum and dad when they pop over for Sunday lunch? Thought not.
As if that wasn’t enough, this week sees the publication of ANOTHER book, Fifty Sheds of Grey: A Parody: Erotica for the not-too-modern male which contains ‘graphic shed-based images’. Apparently, the book is all about shed-loving Colin Grey’s struggle against his wife’s tide of tempestuous, erotic desire after she reads THAT book.
So where does it all end? Will we soon be able to book a Fifty Shades two-week holiday to a grey-sky destination? Maybe office stationery? Engagement rings? We think the Fifty Shades bandwagon is getting pretty full. Time to move on to the next big thing, people.
by Christina Quaine