Does Being Successful Put Men Off?

14 June 2011

Oh poor Hermione Granger. It was initially hard to feel sorry for the beautiful 21 year old, Ivy League educated, Burberry face of, multi-millionairess actress when she recently commented on her struggle to find a man.

But then while the rest of us were discovering boys, attempting to tame our unruly barnets and experimenting with make-up, Emma Watson was destined to spend her youth with frizzy hair, practising spells and banking a whole lotta cash.

'I ask my friends, ''Why hasn't X called me? Why doesn't anyone ever pursue me?'' My friends tell me, ''Probably because they're intimidated''. It must be the fame wall. It must be the circus that goes around me.'

Someone with a little more life experience may find it ever slightly easier to run the gauntlet as Watson herself admits. 'I'm this very weird mix. In some senses, I feel as if I'm 100 years old. In others, I still feel incredibly young, very naive and as if I haven't seen much of the world at all. Sometimes I think I'm the worst person in the world to be in the situation I'm in. I'm shy, I’m sensitive and I'm self-critical. It's a terrible combination.’

Famous or not, successful women everywhere looking for love do have to be a bit wary when choosing an appropriate suitor and that dear readers, we find very sad indeed. As the Katie Price’s and the Kerry Katona’s of the world can testify, when a relationship brings notoriety along with a well-lined pocket, there will always be someone out there who wants to take advantage.  

But what about men who find a women’s success intimidating and off-putting? Perhaps they subscribe to the notion of ‘having’ a woman at home – someone to run the house, cook their meals and look after the kids? Maybe some men just want to feel needed and want to provide for and look after their partner so the idea of not necessarily being the bread-winner is a little hard to swallow.

But the majority of women are able to find the same success in love as they are in life. Think about Victoria Beckham, Samantha Cameron, Michelle Obama – granted their partners are as used to the limelight as they are but they have all proved that it’s still possible to be successful and maintain a relationship as well.

And what does Emma think is the key to finding happiness with that all important plus-one? "I'm a feminist, but I think that romance has been taken away a bit for my generation. I think what people connect with in novels is this idea of an overpowering, encompassing love — and it being more important and special than anything and everything else," she said. "I would love to not date someone in the same industry as me. Otherwise it becomes what it means to everyone else."

Tell us what you think!

-  Jo Oliver



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