21 May 2010

Boredom Buster - SATC: The prequel!

So you know the box-set better than the back or your hand, you’ve had SATC The Movie screenings (and cocktails, natch) with all your girlfriends, AND, you’ve even read The Carrie Diaries, twice.  So, all you can do now is wait for SATC2, right? Well no actually, for we the Boredom Buster Wizards are here to share with you something, well, really rather odd.  

Because it’s seems that Michael Patrick King, the writer-director of SATC, found a gap in his hectic blockbuster-creating schedule to go even further back in the fab foursome’s history and come up with a nursery-based script (no, really).  Yep, here’s the SATC pre-pre-prequel, and as you would expect from the man behind SATC, it’s a little bit risqué (and also quite weird...)

SEX AND THE CITY 2: THE PREQUEL


EXT. ''HAPPY BABY DAY CARE CENTER'' — DAY
The sun is shining.
INT. HAPPY BABY DAY CARE CENTER
A room full of 2-year-old babies playing. Cheery walls, colorful children's artwork on display. On a pink play mat in the corner of the room sit: BABY CARRIE, BABY CHARLOTTE, BABY MIRANDA, and BABY SAMANTHA...who is happily sucking on her bottle.

BABY SAMANTHA Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.
BABY CARRIE We get it. You like milk.
BABY SAMANTHA Nonfat, low-fat, skim milk, whole milk, buttermilk...
BABY CHARLOTTE Buttermilk. Ewwww.
BABY SAMANTHA Don't knock it till you've tried it.
Baby Carrie glances over at Baby Miranda, who is looking sad.
BABY CARRIE What's happening over there, Miranda?
BABY MIRANDA The day-care man never picks me up.
BABY CARRIE That's not true. I've seen him pick you up.
BABY MIRANDA Once. And only when he had to 'cause I made a doodie in my pants.
BABY SAMANTHA Well — be more aggressive. Spit up on him. It works for me.
BABY CHARLOTTE I'm saving my spit-up for a really handsome day-care worker.
BABY MIRANDA Shhh — here he comes.
A HANDSOME MALE DAY CARE WORKER approaches them — seen only from the knees down.
BABY CARRIE (VOICE-OVER) As we watched the day-care worker approach, I couldn't help but wonder — is any man really worth spitting up for?
The man puts a very cute, dark-haired LITTLE BOY on the play mat next to Carrie. The little boy looks at Carrie — his eyes twinkle.
BABY CARRIE (V.O.) And that's when I saw him for the first time...Mr. Little.
Baby Carrie spits up on herself. Still adorable.

Read another alternate Michael Patrick King SATC ''screenplay'' featuring Carrie in a film-noir-inspired murder-mystery here: [EW]


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