Call off the search, girls, you’re wasting your time. According to a new book that's causing ructions in America and launching in the UK this week, there’s no such thing as Mr Right and, if you haven’t met your perfect match by 30, you should settle for Mr Just-Alright instead.
The author of Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr Good Enough, Lori Gottlieb, a single mother in her forties, says she wishes she had settled for any of the ‘perfectly acceptable but uninspiring men’ she’d rejected in her earlier years. Her advice? Forget the ‘passion-fest’. The ideal relationship is ‘more like a partnership formed to run a small, mundane and often boring non-profit business.’
Not convinced? That’s because you’ve been rom-com brainwashed – programmed to believe you deserve nothing less then the best and your white knight will arrive any day now.
‘It’s painful how pervasive the fantasy is that The One is out there somewhere,’ says Lori, ‘When we’re holding out for romantic love, we have the fantasy that this level of passionate intensity will make us happier. But Mr Good Enough might be an equally viable option, especially if you’re looking for a reliable life companion. What makes for a good marriage isn’t necessarily what makes for a good romantic relationship.’
Wow, has this one divided the Grazia office! Romantics versus Realists, half of us think Lori’s advice is quite sensible and girls over 30 should rip up their tick-lists and accept Mr Slightly-Dumpy-But-Good-With-A-Power-Drill. The other half, born and raised on Jane Austen, say ‘Nooo’, true love really does exist. The jury’s out – what do you think?
- Amy Molloy