1. Girls, please STOP turning into Stacey! This week it was Lucie gibbering away. It’s just weird.
2. Please someone explain to us why we have started fancying Olly… loving the George Clooney/Cary Grant/Donald Draper from Mad Men thing he’s got going on. No wonder Cheryl is saying 'Olly is the one to watch'.
3. Please sort out Stacey’s styling. How hard can it be to dress someone brilliantly with a figure like that?
4. Please stop with the ickiness, Cheryl. We’re still creeped out by her and her boys – Lloyd ‘yawn’ Daniels serenading her beaming face made our skin crawl, and constantly going on about Joe being ‘like a little brother to me’ while gazing starry-eyed at each other is sort of stomach churning.
5. Please more funny lines like this from Louis; 'so Gordon Brown and Simon Cowell have something in common - neither of them know what the public want' and this from Cheryl (about Danyl) 'I’m sure he’s going to
do a big long note at the end, but I’m kind of over it...'
6. Please spend some more of your squillion pound budget, X Factor. Jedward’s Ghostbusters: we had better sets and costumes for our primary school plays..
7. Please don’t try and pull the wool over our eyes Simon; we see what you’re doing praising (and saving) Jedward to take the fun out of annoying you.
8. Please can we just fast forward to the bit where Joe ‘musical theatre’ McEldry is starring in Grease (we love Simon’s comment about needing to stop his ‘stage school swaying’). ‘I want to be a pop star, and tonight I’m going to go out there and show everyone that’s exactly what I can be…’ by singing a song from erm, The Lion King…
9. Please can the mentors stop making it all about them?! The sight of Lucie having to comfort Dannii at the end of Sunday’s show made us fume.
10. Please Chezza, can you stop being horrid to Danyl? The man has actually done a Britney, and shaved his hair off - this is a sign. But while he has divided the Grazia office more than any other contestant, whether you love him or loathe him, why is Cheryl always go on about how cocky he is? He's a performer, so confidence is a good thing. And
he's nowhere near as cocky as Jamie Afro anyway. Why doesn't Cheryl pick on him? What exactly is going on?
11. Please can you sort the sound out – does it not matter that we can't actually hear the judges' comments half the time? Or is this done accidentally-on-purpose because it's usually Louis who speaks first?
12. Please will Dermot come and hold our hands the next time we’re going through something stressful?