10 June 2009

Holy arched eyebrows! Who could replace Margaret?

We still haven't recovered from the news that this year's series of The Apprentice was Margaret Mountford's last (she's leaving to complete a phD in Egyptian writing on ancient Greek paper. Or something). While we applaud the Tippex-haired star's decision to follow her dreams, we're not sure how we'll cope without her pursed, scarlet lips and eye-rolling exasperation. Who else could be so delightfully grumpy? (Apart from Nick, obvs). Who would you like to fill the Margaret-shaped hole next year? We were thinking...

Cheryl Cole
Pros: Really, really good at reality TV – she's been there, she knows where the contestants are coming from, she feels their pain.

Cons: Prone to crying and telling everyone they're wonderful, even if they're not – behaviour that would make The Apprentice a very different sort of show. What would Nick think?

Eyebrow rating: 3/5

Madonna
Pros: Suitably formidable – would you want to get on her bad side? Indeed, she's tough, driven and rich: the perfect businesswoman.

Cons: Would probably find an excuse to wear a leotard at some point, which would be distracting. Also, can you imagine the notoriously competitive Queen of Pop taking a back seat and letting a bunch of suited'n'booted types take centre stage? No, us neither. Would be hilarious to see her try, mind.

Eyebrow rating: 3.5/5

Agyness Deyn
Pros: Has similar hair to Margaret's, which could help speed up the adjustment process. Plus, she'd give The Apprentice a much-needed shot in the arm in the style stakes.

Cons: We suspect this lovely Northern lass is just a bit too nice, not to mention a bit too tall to stand next to Suralan.

Eyebrow rating: 2.5

Victoria Beckham
Pros: Rarely smiles in public. A very shrewd businesswoman. The camera loves her.

Cons: Just one small matter: she lives in LA. Sigh.

Eyebrow rating: 4/5


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