Last night's Apprentice: Lorraine vs the buggy

21 May 2009

So last week's episode was about as stimulating as one of Lucinda's faded berets. And this week's? Urgh, sooo much of the same... When Suralan announced that the muppets were going to be selling babyware at Earl's Court's, well, Baby Show, we thought, 'Hurray! This is going to provide us with so many YouTube gold moments to watch tomorrow morning, we won't be doing any work 'til lunchtime.' Clearly we were wrong. Quite possibly spurred on by the promising sight of the remaining contestants – and Margaret! and Nick! – in those silly blue medical socks in the opening shot, we were imagining greatness... Ben swapping the Captain Sqwark outfit for a giant Rugrats one. Small children screaming in terror at the sight of Lorraine and her lippy. Kate wistfully wondering what her and Philip's kids will look like. God, at least that idiot James picking up a child upside down. But, in the end, all we got was the battle between the easiest-buggy-to-put-up-in-the-world and terminal f***wit Lorraine – a physical comedy tussle which wouldn't have even raised a laugh from a discerning Two Pints Of Lager fan. Oh yeah, and Ben got fired. But we fell asleep during the boardroom bit so are not quite sure how he divved that up. (FYI: A Grazia spy saw him in Central London yesterday and reports back that he is 'shorter than a bollard' and has a 'very posh face').

Only moment worth your TV licence: Nick's face as that over-excitable American woman explained that a birthing pool works by making the 'distance between your pubic bone and coccyx increase'.  

Contestant you'd least like to be your mum award: goes to Kate who, on the genius of the baby protection head cap thingies, said: 'It's all about playing on the guilt factor. You've got to get parents to think, "God forbid I don't buy this thing and my three-month-old bangs their head."'  

James' not-at-all-rehearsed quote of the night: 'I'm skating on thin ice and Sir Alan is just waiting to crack it.'

But what did YOU think of last night's Apprentice? Tell us below...

- Suzy Cox


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