There we were thinking that we knew enough about the Bruni-Sarkozy affair. Silly us! Now we're being treated to a blow-by-blow (stop laughing at the back) account of that fateful first night, complete with cheesy chat-up lines, coy glances and (very probably) footsie under the dinner table. The gory details come courtesy of Jacques Séguéla, the mutual friend whose dinner party they met at on 13 November 2007. Séguéla nauseatingly describes their meeting as 'Shakespearian', and proceeds to relay the 'unexpected game of seduction between two wild beasts' that unfolded at the table. Edited highlights are listed below, but our favourite revelation comes from Séguéla himself, who writes that he was first alerted to the fact that Sarkozy's syrupy charm might have worked when Carla began wearing flat-soled pumps. After all, a girl doesn't want to tower over a prospective husband…
She said: 'I get the feeling that I am your blind date this evening, but don't count on it. Your reputation scares me off.'
He said: 'My reputation is no worse than yours. I understand everything about you. You make love because no one makes love to you. I know everything about you because I am so much you.'
He said: 'We will announce our engagement. You will see, we will do better than Marilyn and Kennedy.'
She said: 'Engagement, never! From now on I will only live with a man who gives me a child.'
He said: 'Bet you don't have the nerve right now in front of everyone to kiss me on the mouth.'
She said: 'When it comes to the celebrity press, you are an amateur. My encounter with Mick Jagger stayed secret for eight years.'
He said: 'How could you have stayed eight years with a man who has such ridiculous calves?' [Times]