22 January 2009

Britain's new financial strategy: make Mossy's 35th birthday a weekly event

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Gordon Brown can faff around with VAT rates as much as he likes. We've spotted a far quicker method of digging us out of this economic slump. Parties! Especially on a ‘Mossy Is 35' scale. After all, just think of the waiting staff kept in employment by that nine-hour champagne session at the Dorchester. And knowing that the arts are the first to suffer in a recession, she thoughtfully gave Lionel Richie an afternoon's work. The ageing crooner was drafted in to belt out the hits while her army of celeb mates put away £600 worth of Cristal. And this was just for starters. Day Two saw Mossy hosting a medieval banquet at her home in St John's Wood. As well as supporting local farmers by ordering in a spit-roast-pig, she gave the taxidermy industry a much-needed boost by hiring a zoo-ful of stuffed animals to add to the medieval vibe.

Not forgetting that other countries share our financial strife, the next morning saw revellers board a chartered Eurostar train to Paris, where Kate did her bit for the French economy over a further two days of celebrations. What a trouper! 

So come on, party girls. Follow Kate's noble example. Your country needs you!

 

-Anna Hart


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