We want to love Tom, we do. But. But but but... his enthusiasm can be a little frightening, no? Chatting on the red carpet at Valkyrie's New York premiere this week, he said of his kids: ‘I have a thing. If you're going to do it, really do it. Don't be casual about it.' You can imagine a future where Suri is forced to spend hours practicing the piano, the clarinet, the bugle, tap dancing, everything, when all she really wants to do is slope off with her friends and idle around the shops. Tom and his perma-grin will insist on pumping the hands of her friends, interrogating them on what they want to be when they're older (‘An astronaut? Great! Aim for the stars!) and inviting them to jump on his sofa. Meanwhile, Suri begs for Xenu to beam her up and save her from the most embarrassing dad in the world. Because, let's face it, this is hardly the first time Tom's spilled about little Suri. So far we know he adores the paparazzi pictures taken of his daughter, that she didn't like his Valkyrie eye patch, but that her vocabulary is great - and that his favourite words to hear from her are ‘I love you, dada'. Really, Tom? We'd never have guessed. What will Suri think when she grows up and is old enough to Google herself...? One dreads to think what she'll think of details about her Scientology birth.