07 July 2011

Rachel in the lion's den!

Picture the scene readers, lovey dovey dreamy eyed newly-weds Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz were bored one day recently, so decided to have a lovely day out. On their way to London Zoo they stopped off at Boots and Daniel decided to buy Rachel a prezzie. After staggering out of the shop with the most enormous magnum of Bulgari’s fragrance, Jasmin Noir (after all, nothing is too good for Rachel) they made their way happily to their destination.

Well, London Zoo is a big place and that bottle of pong was extremely heavy and the weather was pretty hot. The conditions started to take their toll and before long, Rachel was feeling quite tired, even a bit faint. Chivalrous Daniel left his new bride by the lion enclosure and rushed off to the ice cream van to buy her a reviving snack.

Two minutes later he returned with a 99 flake and a bottle of water in hand, but *looking around in horror* RACHEL WAS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN! Where can she have got to? The very blood froze in his veins as he spotted his beloved wife and the Bulgari!

Thank goodness the lions had been fed recently!

OR, none of this really happened and Rachel is merely the new face of the perfume – you can draw your own conclusions, readers.

- Naomi Attwood


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