Dear Victoria Beckham, Grazia Daily has watched you transform from Spice Girl to WAG to Fashwan Powerhouse and, although your fabulous style keeps us endlessly entertained, we've developed quite the obsession with those lovely tresses of yours. So in honour of the recent revelation that the average woman gets through a grand total of 104 different hairstyles in her lifetime (!), we feel it's time to investigate your body of work. Yes Vicky, this is your life in hair…
Let’s begin in 1982. Everything was raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, when your mum dressed you like a sugarplum fairy and your eight year old self thought a fringe was a good look (it is not). Surely things can only get better? But what's this - a poodle-esque perm?! There's really nothing to say but why, VB? WHY? etc. Praise be, then, for the Spice Girls and the birth of Posh with her sleek cut and finger pointing. Girl power indeed!
If you don’t mind Lady Becks, we’ll skip forward to 1998 where we find a coy starlet thrust into the public glare (poor poppet) who’s bagged herself a footballer (lucky thing!). You’ve quickly cottoned onto the fact that nothing works better for some Lady Di coyness than boy-band curtains to peep through - smart move.
But as the Posh & Becks union strengthens, so does the feistiness, and the hair gel. So we take our hat off to you here, Vic – not only for personifying that ‘2 Becomes 1’ medley of yours by shoving your other half into a matchy-matchy leather ensemble, but also for such a sprightly ‘do (despite the Sonic the Hedgehog resemblance). And then in 2000, you took it one step further by hitting the bottle with your first dip into blonde highlights, and never looked back...
As a yummy mummy, it’s time for a flickier approach that signals the rise of the GHDs, then what better way to spice up your life than entering the wonderful world of extensions? Although they started out rather streaky, we can appreciate the Rapunzel potential... Before you can say ‘solo-artist’, it's time for a change and the locks have transformed into bizarre badger tails under a blinging bandana. We just don't get it, Vic.
By 2003, the hair extensions have come into their own and instead of a dodgy pirate, you’ve morphed into a footballer’s wife meets Spanish princess for David’s transfer to Milan. Or how about a radiant mermaid complete with bouncing curls and - shock horror! - an actual real SMILE! We likey. Then, POW! you give us the mighty Pob (that’s Posh bob, obv) for your transformation into a Serious Fashwan Designer at New York Fashion Week.
Hooray for 2007 when you pioneered the return of the Spice Girls. Viva Forever and all that jazz but where did that blonde bombshell come from? We appreciate you’re trying your hardest to crack US shores where everyone does peroxide dahling, but we're not wholly convinced... As for your next move, here we see you on the FROW at BFF Marc Jacobs’ S/S ’08 show looking very, er, colourful. And then you gave us what we want — what we really, really want — a gorgeously gamine pixie crop. Wow. Just wow. It's a little bit Winona Ryder with a smidge of Halle Berry and a lot of Audrey Hepburn, which obviously equals perfection. Is that Anna Wintour we hear knocking at your door? Yes, we believe it is.
More salutation of your versatility comes with this ruffled look for the launch of those saucy Armani ads last year. At this point, we’re very happy to see your official return to the Poshness that made you famous all those hairstyles ago. Yep, this is the girl we know and love. So how to survive the long and arduous process of growing out a haircut? Once again, we see you’ve got it covered with this soft, wavy version before going all Geisha on us at the British Fashion Awards.
And with that VB, we've arrived at the present day. Goodness, haven't you given us a LOT to digest!So what you could possibly come up with next? Perhaps make like Rihanna and try a Woody Woodpecker red, or how about a Tavi-inspired OAP blue-rinse, or even a Jedward-esque quiff? Oh, the possibilities are endless. Either way, we beseech you to consider your choice carefully because, as ever, we’ll be watching…
Ever-in-awe, Grazia Daily.
by Jessica Vince