Help! I want wedding skin…

31 October 2011

When you get married, it's basically an excuse to, like, totally improve yourself. And when I say improve yourself, I mean change your looks until you’re almost unrecognisable to 90% of your guests. The brides-to-be that I've known have, between them, lost weight, given up smoking, cut down on their drinking, had their teeth done, had botox...one even (shhhh!) had some surgery (she wanted to keep it secret; but since when is a boob job not obvious? And why get it done in the first place if you're not going to go around shouting 'LOOK AT MY NEW BOOBS?).

As a bride-to-be myself, I've got quite a lot of work to go. In the grand scheme of brides, I really am as bad as it gets; I smoke, I drink, I eat too much cheese and could do with losing at least a stone; my teeth are far from Simon-Cowell-white. Yes, I am A CATCH. But forget my addiction to Marlboro Lights for a moment; that big old binge drink I did last night? Whatever. No, I've got bigger problems; an addiction so awful that it causes members of the Grazia beauty team to recoil in horror. Yes, my name is Laura and I am addicted to… facewipes.
 
I am not alone. Across the country, women too ashamed to be named face the same problem. The scourge of a generation, they're easy to come by, but hard to kick - trust me, I've tried. If, like me, you're remotely lazy, they lure you in - and before you know it, you're using them three, four times a day...
 
I know that as a 31-year-old, I should have a cleanse, tone, moisturise routine. I know that Facewipes are bad for me, that scrubbing my makeup off with a supermarket brand wipe and then falling into bed does not a skincare routine make. I know that I will not have the amazing skin I really want on my wedding day if I continue to use them. I know this, because the nice woman at the Elemis beauty counter told me so last week when she analysed my face; and also because my skin is, to be honest, not great. Brides should be glowing, dewy, blushing. I am a bit grey, a bit dry and a bit haunted-looking. Sexytimes.
 
So, I am embarking on my first bit of Bridezilla-style rejuvination. Not for me the giving up smoking (brides holding a cigarette in all wedding photos is a great look, right? Right?) or getting up at 6am to run round the park. No, I am starting with my Facewipe addiction, convinced that this is the key to beautiful bride-style skin. Lily Allen, Kate Middleton… even Kate Moss ‘glowed’ on her wedding day. I bet they don’t use Facewipes…
 
And so, it was with great difficulty that I threw my last pack in the bin earlier this week. Elemis reckon that three months is enough to get my skin looking good, so I have gone cold turkey - armed with a load of products that will hopefully give me Josephine De La Baume-type glowiness (her wedding skin is what I am aiming for). Two days in, and I'm still proudly cleansing, buffing, washing, exfoliating...which basically takes ages. How can anyone be faffed? How do you do it? See - this is what Facewipes have done to me. I am Waynetta slob in a pencil skirt. I can’t even be arsed to wash my own face.
 
Still, I am determined not to crack. Already, my skin looks a brighter and feels a heck of a lot softer. Someone at work said I looked 'shinier' - which I will take as a compliment, and not a comment on my grease levels.
 
So yes, I WILL have amazing skin by next summer. I WILL crack my Facewipe habit. Together, ladies, we can do this…

- Laura Atkinson


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