With just twenty five days to go >squeak< the Royal Wedding juggernaut is really stepping up a gear with a whole host of completely brilliant/utterly pointless news stories for us to get excited over.
So, first up we have the IMPORTANT stuff: Dress news. Pippa Middleton (sister of Kate) was spotted at Alice Temperley’s showroom this weekend, where she and mother Carole spent two hours ‘locked in talks’, according to a certain Royal-friendly newspaper. Carole and Pippa then emerged from the studio and according to an onlooker, ‘Pippa was in high spirits and very smiley…. She was carrying what seemed to be a shoe bag, so possibly any gown being designed isn’t for Kate but a bridesmaid dress for Pippa.’ Or, perhaps, a pair of shoes? Yeesh.
So, it seems possible that Temperley could be designing a dress for Pippa (P-Mid?) who is maid of honour at the forthcoming wedding – we know that Kate is definitely a Temperley fan as she wore a monochrome dress to her first official engagement in December, so this is POSSIBLE, but the fact that Carole and Pippa were happy to be seen entering and exiting the designer’s studio makes it smell a wee bit fishy. Like, red herring kind of fishy.
Also – could it be Erdem? Well - maybe. Lovely Erdem Moralioglu spoke about the possibility that HE is the chosen one (albeit in a very evasive way) when he was at Saks Fifth Avenue for a trunk show. Talking about the rumour of his involvement, he said ‘I mean, any mention like that is just a huge compliment. It’s so flattering! I will say that Kate is very beautiful…’ Yes, yes…. And you’re designing the dress, oui? And what’s that? You’re going to talk exclusively to Grazia Daily? And you’re going to furnish us with piles of clothes? Well, if you INSIST, Erdem…
And on the flip side of (Colin) the coin, we have a series of ludicrous stories: top of the bill has got to be the gem that along with the Beckham’s (Victoria revealed this weekend that ‘we’re both going to be there and we’re very very excited. We’re very proud to be English and we’re incredibly excited about this’) UFO’s are ALSO expected on April 29th. According to George Filer, who runs the National UFO Centre, ‘The craft seem to have an interest in anything important’. And presumably, they too are keen to see who has designed Kate Middleton’s dress.
It also emerged on Friday that there was a pair of tickets to the Royal wedding for sale at a cool $24,875 (about £15,400). In spite of the fact that this is the same approximate price as a house in certain parts of Hartleypool, Grazia Daily was tempted to sell all of our worldly belongings and pool our resources for a ticket. Until, that is, we realized that much like our dress scoop (yeah, still laughing about that) this particular piece of genius was an April Fools joke. D’oh!
Also – and this is not a joke - the Volo Auto Museum in Chicago has offered William and Kate the chance to use a car bought for William’s mother, Diana, on their wedding day. The car, a Rolls Royce (natch) was purchased for Diana’s last trip to the states in 1996, and has been displayed in the museum since 2007. A rep for the museum told TMZ they ‘would be honored if Prince William and Kate Middleton used the priceless car as transportation for their wedding next month’. Hmm…
Finally, it has been revealed that the royals will travel to the wedding ceremony in rented coaches rather than, say, on the wings of a golden Unicorn. That is, except for Charles and Camilla, who evidently don’t fancy a coach rip down the Mall, and The Queen and Prince Philip, who are exempt on medical grounds*. We don’t know why, but something about the idea of the most senior Royals in a coach strikes us as teeeeerribly amusing. Wonder who gets the back seat? (Harry).
*This is a lie. They’re exempt because they’re in charge.
- Alex Butt